My A-HA moment

So after realizing Mason's race was NOT my "A-HA" moment, I continued to yo-yo back n forth, up and down struggling to lose weight. My impatience was getting the best of me but there was no way I could continue to ignore random swollen feet..I'm talkin Kim K preggers feet at any given moment especially if I was on em for an extended period of time. I would be at work with my foot propped up trying to think of how much salt I had cuz it wasn't the swine (as old folks say). I had never been a snore-er-NEVER!! I used to throw things at my stepsis becuz she snored so loud but ummm I pretty much became THAT person. Sometimes I'd snore so loud I woke my dmn self up like "WTF who's making all that noise?" oh! me. I started to get acid reflux alot becuz I am a lover of spicy foods!! OMG I looooove spicy foods but having em before bed sometimes I fell asleep and dmn near choked waking up-sorry can't explain it and never looked it up! Every time I went to the doctor she'd be like "u know we need this weight to come down right" and suggest I'd see a nutritionist. At this point my gym days went from a few times a week to non-existent as I used the same excuses most people have: I don't have time, I don't feel like it, it's too hot, I ran over a unicorn and **insert any holiday where u feel the need to have a pass to be greedy** and at this point I'm tipping the scale at 290 thinking dmn let me step on this scale again cuz I think it's broke lol.

 

 

Here I am, not really giving a dmn that I'm almost 300lbs...well I care but I don't care to be honest. I don't care becuz I feel like oh well, one day it'll magically fall off and I do care becuz my pants size is basically at a size 22, my shirts are 2X, my bra's are a size u definitely can't find in Victoria's Secret and why the phk do u have to pay an extra whatever amount for being plus size at some places?? okokok I know ur using "more" fabric but still **rolls eyes** I had all the reasons in the world to do right but I just couldn't bring myself to making that first step towards DO'IN. One day I think it was around Jan 2014 becuz I was starting to shop for spring time. I was in Torrid's and as usual headed straight for the sale rack. I grabbed a pair of size 22's and tried em on....I shimmy my fat azz in them jeans and errrr uuummmm I had to suck in the last breff I had to fasten em up. I'm thinkin to myself...oh I just gotta break these in lol or u know when u buy something smaller thinking it'll motivate u to just lose weight...yea ok! So as I'm in the dressing room doing the most jovial "massa tap dance for THE MAN" move to loosen these jeans up I just said PHK IT and grabbed a size 24 which I hated to admit fit perfectly. I never want to be one of those women in denial of their CO-RECK size nor was I gonna walk out with too small jeans knowing dmn well at any given time if I put on a tight fitting shirt I'd be lookin like every bit of Toad from Mario Brothers stuffed in some jeans! No Ma'am!! My mama raised me better than that. So here I am, standing in front of the mirror with these size 24's perfectly zipped n fitted to my body which I had let go of over the past 8 years, totally ignoring my ever so widening of a waist line and it was THAT very moment I had my nuff. It was that moment I kneeeew I couldn't let myself get any bigger and if I kept living the lifestyle I was living I would've continued to expand. AWWWW HELL NAW! I bought those jeans knowing it would be the last time I'd ever buy a size 24 pants. My lightbulb moment had finally hit me and it was time to put it in action. I had been so reluctant for so long and hated lookin so fat YET FAB in my pics. I was tired of watching everyone's before n after weight loss pics n vicariously living thru them so my first step was "I need to find a trainer ASAP". I was randomly scrolling along my IG and found this woman who I would come across posting her workout ethics and her clients before n after's. I followed her and kept up with her since I was on the prowl for a trainer. Excited n ready for a new journey to embark on while wearing these temporary jeans before they'd be too big **revs engine** I'm amped n ready to go! My trainer is a big part of my journey yet with life u just never know what curve balls it'll throw nor opportunities that present itself. It's funny how God works becuz as I sit here sipping water, I look back so thankful to have seen the light. How is it I ask for a trainer and one falls in my lap? It's all too real BUT there is another angel who I can say literally saved my life...

 

 

 

SMOOCHES

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Labels: Life Of Uh Former Fat Girl