Life Of Uh Former Fat Girl


When I have a random idea for a blog post especially something personal I sit on it for a few days pondering how I will format it, how it'll start off, what I'm gonna say and how I'll say it. Sometimes I type faster than my mind to process the words to be spewed out but nonetheless I prefer to be open and honest as possible. With honesty can come backlash becuz some people can't handle the truth, scared to face it or choose to ignore it. A lot of problems we quietly go through aren't talked about becuz in today's world we care what people think of us. We judge, stereotype and assume without asking questions nor talking directly to the person of interest. We add middle men in the mix vs going straight to the horses mouth with side eyes n whispers on what's going on **starts to sing** don't ask my neighbor!! As comedic as I am, I also have a soft emotional side that peaks out every now and then sooooo I've decided to do a series of my stories related to my weight loss journey-hence the title of this post. It's really just a journal for ME to look back on and pass along to whomever else gets like REALLY gets it. When we see people's journey's in whatever it maybe ie hair, weight loss, motherhood, school n etc we normally see where we started and the happy ending. But what about the in between? What about what it takes to get there? Why don't we share the ugly side and the real struggles of the journey. I meeeean you can't possibly think shyt came easy do u? There's levels to this and becuz I am confident in the woman I am today nor do I care what people think of me I choose to open up and be completely honest becuz I know dmn well I can't be the only one who's going through these things. I will try-emphasis on TRY to do these series once a week but I can't promise u anything lol. Yall know I write too much so I gotta break em up for yall n give yall piece by piece...

Once upon a time I weighed 180. I was totally comfortable at that number and worked a good ol' dc gubment jawb from 9 to 5. Along came a bouncing baby boy and a new job doing shift work and before I knew it, that 180 turned into 230. The only way I noticed it was from the clothes I used to fit BEFORE mason would no longer zip up and buttons would hold on to dear life ready to burst any moment. If you have ever worked shift work or nights you can relate to horrible eating habits. The thing is....I never really ate a lot its just that when I did eat, it's junk food or fast food. When u work at the fire department them folks STAY cookin and when the holidays roll around the only DIET u see is commercials gearing up for the New Years. Now along with shift work, how about we add the many yo-yo's of a relationship from one person, failed relationships from a rebound, depression from trying to figure out where ur going in life, not being where u wanna be in life, mourning ur mom, paying endless bills, changing a schedule from 4 days off to ALL nights and every 2 days (and I dare not mention being bullied AT ur job but that's a whole nother topic) and stress all around u can easily go from 230 to a whopping 290lbs when u lack discipline and a phk to give! It happens so quick as if it happens overnight knowing dmn well u noticed them pants sizes going up every few months. Now don't get it twisted I've always been fly and fluffy but people are surprised to know that at 5'9 I was TWO HUNDRED AND NINETY POUNDS!!! EEEEK!! Maybe becuz I carried it well but when I took my clothes off I seen every bit of it. I was not happy but I was content. Content with ballooning to my heaviest becuz at the end of the day I ate good, traveled and Mason's very well taken care of. Did I know I should've been losing weight becuz I was living an unhealthy lifestyle? Of course! I had someone give me a reality check to say "u ain't press to lose weight cuz u still get attention from the fellas". Errr uhhh yeaaaa! Duuuh! Look at me **twirls around** Erybody love me...Ery-Erybody love me ;) BUT STILL the fellas was never my top priority becuz I have more to offer than just beauty. I was plain ol' lazy and didn't care. I had family and friends trying to motivate me to lose weight but lets be real here....u can tell a crackhead all day to get off drugs and it won't click until THEY are ready.

I joined a gym, tried eating salads, lose 1-2lbs a week, gain 3lbs the following week, repeat, fall off and again...still be where I started. My dad has been calling me FAT since I was 15 yrs old which is hilarious to me, friends would be concerned as if I was Gator from Jungle Fever stealing money to buy a 2 pc Popeye's special during the week but I get it, I get it...I'm loved but what people don't realize is nobody can change u but YOU!! Everybody has their own A-HA moment where the light bulb goes off whether it's a health scare, near death accident or for me the moment an active little boy wants to race you.

My sidekick, Mason was my A-HA moment. He always wants to be active but mainly race. I was not feeling that even with a cheating head start I could feel a dmn heart attack coming on! I was not about to be taken out nor defeated by this little boy who would eventually have bragging rights to beat me in a race. Awww hell naaaaw! I'm too competitive. The first step is to admit the problem which I had already done dmn near 100lbs ago. The hardest part is making the first step to DO. I procrastinate ALOT! In my head I can get up, go to the gym and walk the track for hours and eat healthy-IN MY HEAD. In reality I got my lazy azz right back in the bed after barely walking Mason to the bus stop, got up didn't feel like cookin so we ate out all the time, did overtime at work which led to more junk food n eating off the fly. I was no closer to my goal than when I had my A-HA moment. Well guess what...that wasn't my A-HA moment. Surely being around to watch Mason grow up was important to me. I meeeean who else is gonna teach him these hoez ain't loyal and who would take my place on Maury's stage when my sweet innocent angel who does no wrong is accused of fathering some random Thotty's child just cuz they got light eyes! I DONT THINK SO!! I have to be here to protect my baby. Just when u think u got the will power to do the right thing and make a step towards a healthy life....Buffalo Wild Wings Tuesday's roll around and u are easily defeated-Hey! Thai Curry is tough to resist mmmm k **le sigh**

Back at square one! But don't worry next week I'll speak on my REAL A-HA moment that woke me up. When it hits u, u will know-period. It feels different. You have a glimmer of hope to feel optimistic. When u truly are tired of something and ready to move forward there's a match that's lit and all the excuses u used to make are out the door. There was a spark that started and I had no idea how fast the fire would grow to what it's become today...

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Weekend Rewind


You ever feel like the weekend goes by soooo fast and before u know it Monday rolls back around **cue Kim K ugly cry** Well for me, it takes a good 2 weeks to make it to the weekend and even then if I'm lucky to find time when I'm NOT doing overtime, I spend time with my greatest loves: family, friends and makeup!! Sometimes if I wanna hibernate from all of the above I like to just be IN the house and savor the moments of not working the wknd. I started my Friday with a quick cat nap after getting off at 6am, squeezed in an oil change then off to the best stylist in the world, Mahogany, for my hair color. My sissy Dee decided to "shadow" me aka play in makeup so we stopped in the CCO (cosmetic company outlet) at the harbor where I normally find some discontinued/hidden gems to toss on my face.

My lip: Mac Nightingale liner/Bianca B/Oyster Girl lipglass 
 Her lip: Mac Matte Royal

After a quick makeup lesson I was off to meet up with my fam for Happy Hour where as a non-drinker I get my favorite-water on the rocks!!! But ooooh wait-not before I made Dee my official photographer foooooor **screams** IMPROMPTU PHOTOSHOOOOOT
Top: Nordstrom (last summer)/Pants: Tommy Bahama/Shoes: Steve Madden


I absolutely positively LOVE wide leg pants. It's just something so sophisticating about a woman who can stand out with a great pair of wide legs n take a break from the everyday skinnies! I first seen these pants early spring in the mall at the Tommy Bahama store. I never shopped there before as I glance over and see there selection that always looks like old fancy beach house couture, I normally keep it moving. I seen out my PER-RIFF-E-ULS these gorgeous pants and I just HAD to stop in and check em out. I pick em up off the rack without lookin at a size becuz I go for the TAG first n foremost **gasp n clutch the pearls** that dmn price tag said $188!!! Errr uuummm NO!! I ever so gently put that shyt back on the rack and left opting never to return again becuz clearly I knew not even iiiiii was on their level-hmmph!! I often thought of these pants but wit how much it cost...I knew it would be nothing more than a dream. YES I've dropped that amount plus some at Sephora or easily a mac counter BUT with my waist size shrinking I just couldn't invest in such at this point.

So fast forward to ooooh bout the end of June, I'm killing time at Tanger outlets and I spot a Tommy store. I went in off a hunch and discovered a SALE!!!! Say whaaaaaat-IM IN. As I paroooze I spot wit my little eye the very same pants that broke my heart n humbled my wallet-these dmn pants!! Am I dreaming again? This just cant be!! There I was standing there reunited with my love. Although there was a sale going on I seen NO sale sign on this rack so I stood there picked up the biggest size (14) and peeped the price **insert blank stare** that shyt stiiiiiill said $188 BUT lo n behold this guy who worked there was like "oh this rack is half off" and I thought FINALLY a glimmer of hope came from this man's vocal cords yet I still paused becuz dmn it I'm cheap a savvy shopper!! I had one of those ShaNaeNae from Martin talks with myself tryin to decide if I wanted to come up off $94 for some dmn pants. I was in there for a good 30 min, tryin em on, tryin to convince myself I don't need em anymore, secretly still wanting to take advantage of the 2nd chance to grab em. I've honestly not spent that much on a garment of clothes for myself in a looooong time. I finally stood tall and said PHK IT THESE ARE MINE!! I have come a looooong way not just in losing 90lbs (not that im counting) but just a lot for me has grown, matured and changed for me within the past year or so and as much as I work and put others before me why should I NOT treat myself. I sacrifice to give-give-give-give to others so why not just have that ONE good time where u like let me GIVE to myself. Not to mention my YOLO mentality I've been having lately. I love these pants and dnt regret getting em for a 2nd (plus it was actually cheaper than I expected which is always an extra blessing) **sings** we belong togethaaaaaaaaaaaaa

My bag is priceless! I can't tell u where it came from becuz it was my moms. An authentic snakeskin bag that is safely tucked away in a duster until I feel vintage-y and bring her out to see the light. I'm quite sure this bag is about 20+ yrs old and will never get old to me. I'm a sucker for 3 kinds of prints: Houndsooth, Polka Dots and Snake print. Anything with those 3 and I'm automatically buying it. 

The rest of my weekend consisted of spending time with family. Shopping with my girls-I did good and did NOT get anything from the mac counter! Sephora that's a different subject but even I only got something for $20 (KVD lippie) and that was IT!!! Trying to pull back juuuust a tad yall lol. I did breakfast with "my boys" on Sunday and enjoyed holding the most precious little mini me the world just isn't ready for #TurbansAndPearls ;) I know how much we dread Monday's. It's the beginning of the week and we already looking forward to Friday which seems light years away but it's great to stop and reflect on what a great weekend it was to spend time and have fun with family & friends.
Dmn photographer not listening to DIRECTION >:<

This is my Oh What's Over There Pose

My Lip: Maybelline Magenta-bulous w/mac nightingale liner
Her Lip: Mac Stone w/Chestnut liner (gorge combo)

Aaaaah felt good sitting in the BACK SEAT!!!
Please don't tell my trainer I got PASTA from Olive Garden EEEK!!

Shades: Forever 21/Lips: KVD Bow N Arrow, Mac Cork liner w/YSL combo
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Never 2 Hot 4 Makeup

Although it's been sweltering hot in the DMV I figured I'd still play in makeup. No matter what the temp gets I can adapt. It's so funny when people say "how do u wear makeup with it being so hot?" Ummm the same way u wear CLOTHES with it being so hot! The same way u have bundles cascading down ur back! Hot is just that HOT no matter what. To prevent my face from melting I just prime and set more than usual. My summer time face routine normally consists of Smashbox BB cream but since I've been testing out some new foundations I've been seein how they hold up in this heat. Note: I walk from my house to my car. I'm not walking around in no heat nor playing with the sun. I'z prefer the shade and AC on full blast. The key to staying Haute when its hot is long wearing makeup soooo what do ya know-my main man who just so happens to be the only consistent man in my life aka UPS dropped off a package that contained Kat Von D  ($20) new liquid lippies. Many brands are coming out with liquid lippies to sell us on long wearing lips but not all are created equal. Sephora collection brand has really good ones for $13 and no I haven't tried Anastasia's which seems to be all the rave. What I do like about Kat Von D's lippies is they ARE long lasting and depending on the color (moreso reds or vampy shades) they stain perfectly. My first KVD was Lolita which always seems to go in and out of stock and it's in that pinky mauve range. The 2 I received today I blindly took off a whim: Mother and Ayesha. It's really hard to choose becuz they're all so gorge. They snuck into some Sephora's a few weeks ago before being released online n that's when I grabbed the dark berry Exorcism shade (featured on my last post).

KVD Mother

I'm easily drawn to pinks yet the name put me in the mind frame of something old n boring but I loooooove it. I paired it with NYX Bloom liner.

KVD Ayesha
I have a low key love for purple lips so I was easily drawn to this shade. Now I gotta take time n compare it to Mac RiRi Boy, Men Love Mystery and Up The Amp. The only true purple liner I like to pair this shade with is Mac Resort (LE) which is an eye kohl pencil. But I really like her line of liquid lippies. Her studded kiss lipsticks can be a hit or miss on some shades tho but these are knocked out the park. I'll probably add more to the mix when I see more swatches or randomly test em in store. Some of my best purchases are impulsive so who knows!!

Now of course I had to do my **drumroll** impromptu photoshooooooot...This time my photographer sissy just so happen to be on hand lol:

Najah is an up and coming photographer and I decided to give her a test run to see how her skills could keep up with my modelesque-ness. It was so funny cuz I said "oh let's go to Najay spot" and I just did a drive by on these poses n VOILA!! Magic!!

Dress from Neiman Marcus Last Call /Shoes: Sam Edelman (last summer)


Aaaaah the infamous THATS IT shot

I wanna interrupt this program for a moment of silence....due to the heat wave in our area I wanted to make sure my plants would be well hydrated. As I stepped on my balcony I noticed a mere casualty **sniff** I was going to attempt CPR but RIG-UH-MORE-TIS set in and it was no sign of life. I was too late! There was nothing I could do and all I could think about was how it died alone. Nobody deserves that. That's why I can't stress enuff to live life to the fullest becuz life is too short **cue Michael Jackson-Gone Too Soon** Poor little guy never stood a chance **hangs head low** WHYYYYYYYYYY **kim k ugly cry face**
RIP Benny The Beetle, You Will Be Missed

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I'm not an artist, I just play one in real life


Contrary to the popular "I woke up like this" phrase I beg to differ. I get countless "how do you" questions on how I apply my makeup and what to get all the time. First of all I'm flattered that anyone would even toss me such a compliment becuz I don't even consider myself a pro. I have come to grips with being above the beginners stage but it honestly didn't happen for me overnight. I didn't think I'd be as obsessed with makeup as I am becuz I only had an interest in learning how to do my brows so I didn't look like an alien in pics. When I went natural in what? 2009 I was focused solely on my natural hair journey. I became so engulfed in that "lifestyle" I researched, became a product junkie and had many trials and tribulations to learn MY hair. Once I conquered that after a year, my curly sister Mary posted a makeup thread on CurlyNikki (Hey OC's) and to spare the I am today. I started from very humble beginnings **cue harps playing to flashback** I knew absolutely NOTHING!!! The most I had ever worn was lipstick and even that was pushing it. You would think with such a glamourous mom I would've already been in the game but nope!! Makeup intimidated me. You think: where do I start? what do I do? wait do that again...I don't get it? I remember going to the drugstore, grabbing a covergirl shadow and applying it with the sponge applicator it comes with (I cringe) and rubbing it across my eye. By the time I was ready to leave out the door that dmn shadow disappeared quicker than a Houdini trick! I just didn't get it so I took my questions n concerns to the makeup thread-how do I get shadows to stay on my lid? someone answered PRIMER!! The next week I landed in this wonderful place known as Sephora which has very easily become my 2nd home and got my very first makeover. Here I am 5 years later and I'm stiiiiiiiill here :)

Where For Art Thou Brows?

NOW....I want to share some tidbits for those wanting to get into it or have an interest to try it...ok u ready??? As I go through this lesson I'll share my young grasshopper days when I didn't know any better haha...this will be fun for me too...

Exhibit A:
This was my very first time trying to draw my brows after my makeover. I used the Anastasia Brow Wiz in Brunette (which I still use today) and felt like it applied itself. I was proud of myself becuz brows can make or break ur whole face-period!! If my brows are off I don't even feel whole-it's that serious.

What I'm about to say is very important so listen up...when you go for makeovers, demo's or whatever-anytime you go to a makeup counter and ask them HOW to apply and they demonstrate on you...PAY ATTENTION!! Every single time someone touched my face I had a mirror up and one eye open to study their technique's and placement of product. I would then go home and practice **in my Allen Iverson voice** yes we are talkin bout PRACTICE! I always asked questions if I didn't understand too. I've watched countless youtube vids and fell into my own groove to get to where I am today. Now WHO to watch on YT is a different story (aint got time for that rundown today) but as you get better you'll change how u apply makeup. Just as I would research hair products I do the same when it comes to makeup. Which brings me to the next question I get asked...

What BRAND of makeup do you use?

If I knew then what I know now lol. I'm trying to think of a nice way to say this becuz my first blush was Nars Lovejoy ($30) and it spoiled me (still does). Nars brand is a taaaad expensive yet I have some La Femme blushes for a mere $3 that's just as pigmented and dmn good. I wish I would've focused more on learning "how to" and playing around with cheaper products before jumping head first into expensive shyt. It would've saved me a lot of time and money as I would've then focused on quality vs quantity. There are some drugstore brands that can rock with the best of them and also lackluster performances from more name brands. MAC is not the end all be all. MAC was easy for me becuz I love shopping at nordstrom and I've grown to love my laydeez (and gents) who keep it real and do me right. They don't sell me off no gimmicky makeup just for a sale and they know ME. I don't seem to get good nor personable customer service at those stand alone MAC spots **wags finger**

MAC Hey Sailor coll 2012

I also rely on MAC becuz as a beginner, I didn't know how to color match myself for foundation and I'll let u in on a secret...I still don't. I'm not for mixing 2-3 different foundations for my perfect shade-I shan't, can't and won't!! I digress...DONT become a label whore...just yet lol. My favorite brand of eyeshadow is Urban Decay (UD). I love the value of their palettes and between them and Too Faced, it's so buttery smooth and blendable so I collect em EASY!! One day I'll reveal my stash ;) Don't get me wrong, there are SOME brands n products I think well worth the splurge but to start out-keep it simple.

Exhibit B:
Would ya looky here...I used a waxy NYC brow pencil, my trusty ol' UD palette n this was before I discovered the power in foundation, concealer, color correcting, highlight/contour and just tossed blush on my cheeks hahahaha!! Wow!!

The one tool folks don't really inquire about which I think is important is brushes. Although the technique is in the flick of the wrist, brushes for me is essential. I started off with a brush set from Sonia Kashuk (the wooden handle collection ones from waaaay back) and it was too scratchy for me but don't worry cuz they've gotten better now. My brush collection ranges from MAC brushes to sephora collection brushes and my fave ELF studio brushes (all black found at Target). My suggestion for beginners is to start out with a brush SET becuz it'll give u the essentials: foundation, crease, shadow, cheek and liner brush to play with.

So after I had my basics down packed I just progressed from there. Some people like the 'no makeup makeup' look and I like my shyt dramatic. I love lashes and a full on drag contour. That's just ME! I've gotten more settle now surprisingly and I'm working on my time management with my face. I take forever becuz I listen to music and I stop to hit high notes. I'd love to challenge myself to see if I can do full face (nothing drastic) in like 10 min but I admire myself in the mirror too long :7

Exhibit C:
This pic is the very moment I felt like I had arrived **makes it rain glitter**. I had used all the skills I learned from others and really took my time for this one. I had played in lashes and FINALLY covered those pesky dark circles. Lookin back on this pic makes me proud becuz I've really come a long way and I've yet to even hit my peak of my ability today. There's always room to grow. As with anything, it's what you put in it. I really studied the art of makeup. I've joined makeup forums to learn more tips n tricks. I'm up on the current trends and I take chances and don't limit myself. IT'S JUST MAKEUP!! I'm not gonna go into skincare first n blah blah blah cuz I want to solely speak on my then n now journey. I'm always to share what I've learned and teach what I know. I've taken classes from amazing artists and networked with makeup artists (MUA's) along the way.

I was in a smokey eye phase

Oh just kickin it wit my besties Renny n Tati lol

In conclusion, I love makeup talk. I love when people ask for my opinions, suggestions and comments on makeup. What color to pair with...What kind of shadow to get for...What brand is good for...What kind of brush do you use to do...I get em all. I was once where u were. I love to encourage laydeez to step outside the box. If you scared of a red lip it's ok, start off with a red gloss to test the waters. There's so many shades n finishes to find THE perfect red lip for your tone it's overwhelming. The "in" thing now is mauve and pinky nude lips. Eeeeeh I like to go for the gusto. Pink lips are my fave. I love to see deeper complexions with an orange lip OMG **cue heart eyes** But just know that we all have to start somewhere. You don't wake up a pro. I'm 5 years in and I learn something new everyday. I go to makeup counters just becuz! I can have no intentions on buying anything but please believe THEY KNOW DA GIIIIIRL **lip pop** I go into complete zone mode with makeup. It's theraputic for me. It makes me proud when I get random "how did i do" msgs from my girls becuz I was the same way. However **cue chris brown** look at me now oooooh...

#NoFilter might i add

And speaking of beginners, I wanna highlight my most prized possession right now becuz I'm so proud to have watched this laydee grow after hassling me and poking me all hours of the night. We will go back and forth all day if needed and she is one of my best students lol. I honestly think she's graduated to not needing me anymore **sniff** but when I laid eyes on this beauty my mouth literally DROPPED!!! Not everyone can pull off an ombre lip. Seems pretty easy to me but like I said earlier...u gotta find ur groove with ur own technique to accomplish it. My STAR STUDENT who's graduated to the big leagues...

My Star Pupil

OMG I'm bout to cry just lookin at the pic. FLAAAAWLESS!!! **snaps in Z formation** This very pic makes it all worth it to me. My hard work along with trials n error is why I love what I do. I'm a teacher!! I've found my niche in showing yall how to do it vs just being a "makeup artist". Honeychiiiiiiiiiild I forgot what else I was gonna say becuz I'm speechless all over again so I'll just **drops mic**


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Un-Retired Model


So back in my hey days I used to model. My grandma and mom modeled so it's just in my blood (which is why if I ever have Madison just know she'll carry the torch) to instantly pose when a camera is near. Am I the only one who practices smizing in the mirror? What about taking 78 selfies to only come out wit a good 2 to post? Although I've "retired" from modeling in my head u can't tell me I'm not Tyra Banks. I still envision having wings and walking the runway for those annual Victoria Secret Fashion Shows but then I look down at my kangaroo pouch n come back to reality. Although I've lost weight...90lbs but who's counting...I'm trying to find my comfort zone with smaller sizes and styles. I've never really been a tight body con wear-er and I like my dresses long and flowy to show off my height. My house dress and lounge wear at home consists of caftans. Oooooh I love me a good caftan. My style is comfy n chic!

Dress: Cori Coren Boutique

I like looking like a lady. A timeless beauty shall we say. I felt like floating in this dress so I grabbed my sissy Najay (I spell it how it sounds lol) and we had an impromptu photoshoot. It was actually kind of fun :) I even took mason tall mirror to "pose check" before I had her snap the pic! I was in a grooooove yall:


I looooove a popping color. For ME, I can never go wrong in pink (I meeeean what girl can) and I've been in a flower mood as of late. Anybody else into the flower trend? It's so fresh and makes me feel like a walking botanical garden **sniffs flowers** Now the creative side of me likes to turn a dress into a skirt in like zero to a hunnit real quick cuz who doesn't like options!

Dress/Skirt: Cori Coren Boutique
My jacket is from...I cant remember! Tank top: Old Navy and Shoes: DSW (penny loves Kenny $15) Shades: Ebay

Come thruuuuuu Thigh
Now I know what ur thinking....I'm a natural right? And that is CO-RECK but I believe anybody can do it. It's no different than when u throw on that fresh outfit and start feeling urself n snap pics in that full length mirror. The trick! I constantly have any Beyoncé song in my head. It's like having ur own theme music and your body just goes with the flow. Yall should try it and tag me :) It'll feel weird at first especially if there's people around but phk it. Let them watch AND LEARN. I'm tryin to tell yall IN MY HEAD I'm on set with Nigel Barker just uh clickin away til we get that one THAT'S IT pic to land the cover of a magazine. Seeeee it's all in the attitude ;) Since I peeped I could flash a little leg I channeled my inner Toni Braxton cuz honeychiiiiiild she got the peek-uh-boo leg game on LOCK!
oh my hat? it's Betsey Johnson from Nordstrom LAST summer ($8)

And noooow for my bloopers lol. I figured I'd share these with you guys to show how Perfectly Imperfect I am:

This is where the photo shoot started til my sissy suggested we move to the wall behind me lol

 I have no clue what in the world I was doing but I figured since we had a great shoot I'd wrap it up wit one last hooray cuz I aint gonna fake...I was tired lol. It was hot, folks driving pass lookin at us like what in the woooorld and I was just hoping my dmn brows didn't melt off. Yall have officially survived my photo shoot. After tons of pics it can be pretty tough to dwindle them down to like a Top 10 only becuz I over analyze myself and I'm very critical becuz I want them to come out as I envision them. Soooo if anybody's looking for a muse I'd be happy to share a pose...or 2....or 3...ok ok ok 100 lol.


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