Peek-A-Boo

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I am popping back in really quick n taking a break as I am spending alone time on an island reflecting on last year and making plans for this year. It feels soooo good to unplug n step away from the hustle n bustle of everyday life to wake up ocean side uninterrupted by an alarm clock n lolly gagging while sashaying in my caftan around the resort grounds. I'm not a beach person but my feet have exfoliated in the sand as I await the sunset. Oh let me make this quick becuz I gotta get ready for my massage appt **sips glass of non-alcoholic drink** Hmmm...what shall I indulge in later during dinner as the band entertains n I sweep the room to see who's the fun stranger to get the party started with a dance **takes another sip of water on the rocks** Although life can be tough n the weather shifty n cold, nothing is tougher than trying to figure out what your fixin's will be at the omelette station :7 I have been dreaming of this moment in what seems like forever. After all...I've been tied up 2018 n stayed local due to my condition lol. 


Honeychiiiile...DREAMIN is exactly what I was doing above because in reality, only break I'm taking is from completing this homework assignment for my psych class and prepping to catch on my DVR but not before I take a hot azz shower in slather myself in a tropical scent shower gel. In my head, I figured after baby I could whisk myself away to DR (possibly sneak in a tummy tuck) to rest while on maternity leave. WROOOOONG!!!! In my head, I was gonna leave the hospital n take a good week break then my body would snap back into grind mode n I'd be on my feet. WROOOOONG!!!! My body didn't want to play fair with my mind so the 2 have been at odds lately. Having a baby after 35 is no joke but more on that later...




He's here!! He's here!! My boys have now become my "Two and Uh Half Men" and I couldn't be more happier for them than I already was when I tossed myself into their lives lol. He is every bit of perfection and I am truly grateful for our team n support from family, friends, strangers and more importantly my amazing doctor n nurses who kept us prayed up n took care of us along the way. To say it takes a village is an understatement cuz good laaaaawd. During this break, I've been able to be reminded of this newborn life annnnd although its like riding a bike, I ain't no spring chicken. During my shift of being an extra set of hands I'm a slave to this baby at his every beckon call n sign of a cry. He's so tiny n cuddly <3 just melts my heart every time! Thinking back to when I had angels surround me and my Godmom (Gramnea) allowed me to take a break from mommy hood to watch Mason, I remember how appreciative I was n the feeling I had to sleep more than 3 hrs and wake up or even go to the bathroom without a baby attached. Baby Life is phkn HARD!!! 

Speaking of not being a spring chicken...even tho the days n weeks get mooshed into one as the world turns lol I am unaware of the clock n only know of night n day BUT I am officially 2 yrs from 40 **cue punch from reality check** and turned 38; Jan 26th!!! Yes...also in my head I did a birthday post...in reality: THIS IS IT!!!



Although I think I'm ready to hit the streets...I'm not. My body is still healing n my FUPA is sore from having a c-section. When I get a burst of energy I go window shopping, make my round at Wegmans until I realize I've been out too long n start to get dizzy so I carry my azz on home n kick my feet up. I have a small window to get fresh air of a good 3-4hrs. I hate it. My appetite is on junk food mode, I know I need to drink more water (but I've always sucked in this dept), I watch my bootcamp trainer from afar to prepare when I'm cleared. If you see me out n about, my uniform is sweatpants or pretty much anything wit an elastic waistline. WHY? oh becuz although I lost weight afterwards, my body is just wonky! I'm smaller than maternity clothes yet I dare not try to fasten jeans-weird. It's so in between. I hate it. I'm ready to take my braids out cuz these joints is dangling well over an inch (I've had em since what? Oct...early Nov) and they ready to Geronimoooooo at any given second BUT I know this postpartum shed is gonna be a bytch which means the take down, detangle, wash n style process will be an all day affair. I hate it. 






I am learning it's ok to take a break n not rush my healing, I meeeean it has only been like a month lol. I've said this before: I wanna be intentional with how I move this year in growing. I wanna enjoy living in the moment and not taking time for granted. Having a baby opened my eyes to realizing OH SHYT...Mason was once this same little baby cradled in my arms just 12 yrs ago. I embrace him n smother him with hugs n kisses while handing him the big brother title. He now has someone who will one day look up to him just as I do as the oldest of siblings. He's such a good kid <3 I am proud we have the relationship we have which is totally not the ideal annnnd WE good with that. He was of great help when I was preggers (don't believe his stories that I made him redo my toasts or other silly tales) I am the cool mom YET authoritative in a more relaxed way (plus I'm petty so he know I ain't for no shyt). He's not into this newborn stage so he looks from afar n I enjoy seeing him cringe when he hears the loud screeching cries from the baby. Overall, my boys are doing an amazing job. If ever there was a hall of fame board for best dads I'd plaster their faces with the stickers n give em stars with how loving, involved and present they are. I don't regret my decision at all. I shall be on hiatus until my mind n body see fit n my energy is fully restored :) 



Smooches



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2019...I'm Already Here

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Disclaimer: I had every intention on kicking this post out before New Years but due to my condition (lol)...here ya go!! My end of 2018 post moving into now. I will be on hiatus for...hell I don't know; until I see fit I guess. I shall definitely return this season with a bang!! Thanx for the love, thoughts n prayers-IT WORKS (and i ain't talkin waist trainers lol). 

This is an exciting time of the year. Everyone gears up to make resolutions they may or may not follow but it's always a good discussion to have. This is the time to reflect on the last year in review. I love this time of year. The first quarter...the excitement of newness. After school starts and ends Summer, my favorite "holiday" is Halloween. The fun part is seein how creative folks are with costumes-next year I will have auditions to recreate my vision of Vanity 6 or my favorite scene from School Daze. After the spookiness is done, we roll into Thanxgiving. Last year it fell on Mason's birthday so I officially have a pre-teen (Lawd HELP ME) and from there you blink and it's **cue Charlie Brown Xmas song** CHRISTMAS TIIIIIME IS HEEEERE. I know some folks complain the holiday spirit kicks off early in November but I don't mind at all. I'm still a kid at heart who gets giddy over the decorations and innocence of kids believing in Santa. Hell I still pull up the Santa tracker on Xmas Eve n gaze off into the stars (leeme lone it's my thang).  I hate when adults ruin the idea of Santa wit they ol' woke azzez **eyeroll** yet we complain on kids not being kids anymore. They done snatched Toys R Us, u can no longer sing Baby It's Cold Outside thanx to the me too movement n now Rudolph story is under attack!! Like dmnnn just snatch Vintage Xmas n erase history altogether why don't we. 




This has been a good year for me and if you're reading this, it ain't been so bad for urself. All the shyt I talked earlier in the year from my theme of Elevation has been manifested and executed, in some ways beyond what I expected. So reflecting on this past year-I have no complaints. A lot of people ain't make it n they'll be some that won't make it into 2019. Although these past 8 months I had to slow down, I've continued knockin' out my "to do" list while prioritizing n placing things on pause. I've signed up for my last class to graduate Spring 2019, maintained a full year of drama n stress free living n been sprinkled in blessings knowin I am worthy of receiving. 

Photo Credit: Mason
As previously stated; I'm comin for everything they say I can't have and I DID THAT!! Goin into 2019 full steam ahead with a new theme and game plan to execute. I understand early if there's some that can't join the ride n will get left behind. Trust me, they'll be no love lost in translation. I want to be present and live in the moment. I want to make calculated decisions and be intentional with my moves to benefit the direction as I'm headed into greatness. Although my growth is inevitable, I am still true to self---now THAT I can't compromise. 

Dress: @goldenbirdboutique





**starts engine** Soooo reflecting on your own year in review, what are you lookin fwd to leaving behind or takin with u into this new year? I found it easier for me to set a theme which held me accountable to stay on track in accomplishing goals I made. I missed my mark on a few occasions but I refuse to beat myself up over it. I'm gonna carry it into 2019 to complete. During the upcoming weeks I shall fall off the grid to recharge, rejuvenate and renew...I hope everyone had Merry Holidays and positivity to snuggle with into the New Years and gain the attitude of abundance moving forward. As you can see (and if you read in between the lines from my previous posts), I've been productive reproductive these past few months and in due time I'll share <3 it's been...JY LIKE YEA to say the least but special, intimate n beyond what I expected :) EEEEK!!!


Smooches


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#MyBoldExperience

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I was able to muster up some energy this past weekend to be social n mixy :) Over these past umpteen weeks or so I've been such a drag! About a month ago, I was scrolling my TL and seen Influencer n Blogger Dayna Bolden was hosting an event in Bmore n rushed to hit the link-clearly my rush was slower than others cuz it was SOLD OUT!! I went back to the post n hit the "devastated why me" emoji cry face becuz I'm like ugh, this would've been perfect since it's local. Welp, as luck would have it she hit me up in the DM's wit the stay tuned I might open up more seats msg n I set aside my funds ASAP just in case. I went on about life n thought nothin of it until on a clear sunny day, I received a msg with an event link and VOILA!! The pearly gates had opened...for me..lil ol' me <3 I was on point n on time as I made SURE to grab a tkt this go round. I mean I'd hate to miss out again n have to show up anyways where it just so happens someone "accidentally" tripped off a curb then graciously hand me their tkt as their being hauled into an ambulance n could no longer attend themselves-just saying! After the score of the golden tkt now comes the wait and anticipation for the event. It was a good month out but I patiently waited and shared in the excitement of the countdown. After all, I had been hibernating dmn near all year or so anyways n wanted to test the waters a bit since I threw it in the atmosphere how I wanted to start attending more blogger events. 




The time has come!! Its finally here-EEEK!! I have no idea what to expect. I kinda like going in blindly with no expectations these days. I mean I only know Dayna from who she portrays on social media sooooo let's see how this translates in person. I walked in while Michelle Mckinney was speaking. I was happy to see her since I also follow her and enjoy her life coaching-ness. I am instantly entranced n sucked all the way in. The jewels she dropped n the style in how she presented a stop the excuses n get off ur azz approach was amazing. What really struck me was mentioning that we downplay our achievements. The way we introduce ourselves n not make it seem like we are a big deal when the mentality we need to be having is "I AM THE SHYT". Woooow, it was like deja vu. It's the same thing I've been preaching for us to do. This is the attitude I exude to "Inspire.Motivate.Elevate" within my movement n to hear someone else say it was like OH YEA...she gets me!!! This was like a full circle message for me n confirmed I'm on the right track. The confidence in her speaking and examples she made of us had me in awe. She is such a BOLD light n I can see why Dayna has such an asset within her tribe. We were all in there soaking it up and taking notes. Her vibe n her energy was the perfect kickoff to the event. 

Food was delish :P I devoured this shrimp n grits

After Michelle snatched our edges n sashayed off the stage, it was time to mingle n mix. I was then able to look around n peep the attention to details of the event. It was beautiful. From the time u walk in your greeted, sit down and there's a notebook n pen along with a pamphlet or guide pretty much but more importantly the attendees. You could feel the sisterhood of strangers who all gathered to be within the same space as someone we look up to and admire. I must say...I've been to a few blogger type events but NONE like this. Dayna really attracts beautiful souls. Whether u came with friends or solo there was no shortage of love exuding in the room from all angles filled with women. To put on an event at this magnitude couldn't have been an easy task. It was well over 100 women yet no more than 200 so it was still intimate n not overcrowded. You could still work the room and engage with everyone. I was highly impressed. 





Engaging was one of the best parts. To hear people came from near and far melted my heart. We wrote our 2019 goals on a postcard n posted on the wall after unclipping a message attached to the pin. How neat. Who came up with this idea n I'm excited to receive the same postcard a year from now to see where I stand. It puts u in the mindset to start NOW to get the engines started for 2019 and y'all know I'm all for forward thinking!! 

My Fellow Blogger Sis came all the way from Chicago @kimberlymichellelife <3 We met earlier this year in the Blog With Kim group n she's THE Queen of flat lays.
I seen them n KNEW i needed to know them n stay connected. Anyone who can step out n phkn crush the mixed print game can't go unacknowledged n has to know-I'm stalkin!! @mikaela.phabon n @simplyshannah

Quick Story: When I entered the building I seen STEPS that looked like it led to Jesus chin, so I asked security at the front desk...umm do we not have any ELEVATORS n if not...how many flights I need to catch (becuz I wanted to prep him for the 911 call he was gonna receive or make for shortness of breff when I made it to the top) and he says...oh not many just a few flights. I took a deep inhale n exhale n started up the first flight. I pause n see a 2nd flight but also trying to look up to the top to see how many more I had left. Hell y'all know them old azz buildings in Bmore be steep!! I get to what must've been the halfway mark n see this sign. Now of course I rolled my eyes after reading it like umm Dayna...ain't no elevator to success but it dmn sure needs to be one for those carrying EXTRA CARGO!!! But I took it in stride n the message was well received. I was able to make it to the top without going out like Fred Sanford to see Elizabeth **clutches chest to brace for heart attack** 


Ok, so after mixing n mingling...it was now time for the woman of the hour to set the stage ablaze. This is what we came here for. Her host, Chardelle Moore was wonderful as well. She asked Dayna what we was thinking: How'd u get started? Did u ever think you'd be here? How do u maintain focus n balance? There was a plethora of questions n we were all ears awaiting the reply. Just as I was entranced with Michelle, I was with Dayna. I was literally IN THE MOMENT, phone down, pen down n just taking it all in. She is such a genuine person n u can tell her kindness is real. Her story of the infamous "come up" as we see it didn't come easy n to think...she's not even at her peak is inspiring. One of the most important messages she mentioned was having a good tribe to where you pour into each other n hold each other accountable. BINGO-I'm on it. Her empowerment of women is phenomenal. She shared her good n bad aside from what we see on the gram. It was after her speaking I just admired her that much more n was glad I was there. 


What did I learn and take away from attending The Bold Experience by Dayna Bolden...I learned n witnessed how humble she is IN PERSON. You see so many influencers n bloggers who are one way in the social media world but u meet them in the streets n they act as if they are the magnitude of celebs with funky attitudes. I just randomly posted my cry face emoji's on her sold out tkt post n she took the time out to hit me up to gimme a heads up on more to come. She didn't have to acknowledge me at all n I could've just had to randomly see another announcement on her page. You can see she goes above and beyond. The energy n vibe u get from her is as if you've known her for years. The attention to detail and how she doesn't half azz on her shyt is motivating. This woman puts in WORK!!! She sets the vision n executes it. Listening to her emotionally tell her story, u heard a few sniffles in the audience. We really FELT it. From quitting her job on a leap of faith n maintaining being a wife n mom...hell I'm yawning now n ready to get my azz in the bed after typing up this post alone. There are no short cuts. I get it. It's mandatory to have a good tribe to hold u accountable. A support system to "pour into" (I love that phrase) becuz I know for ME; I get lazy, I procrastinate and I need to be consistent. (I just need y'all to gimme a pass for this year due to my "condition" lol") I learned we have to sacrifice in order to chase our dreams in what we want. There were business women within the mix of bloggers. Nobody held back in giving advice or tips n tricks from branding, re-branding, pitching to brands, collabs and just over all networking because everyone CAN win. Which brings me to the message she had for us in the end....


We closed out the event in prayer and also lit a candle which represented our gifts n talents to symbolize by helping someone to light their candle doesn't dim yours **cue water works** We was all passing on the flame n "pouring into" each other with lighting each other's candles. It was such a beautiful moment. It was like Yeeeeeea that's SO true. What's for you will be for u. I have no problem telling u where I got an outfit from or resources on how I started a blog n what I do that works n doesn't work when someone asks. It doesn't block my light n blessings becuz there's only ONE me. I am my own signature n I know I'm the shyt-shyt!! The lighting was one of my favorite moments n made my eyes sweat. I hope in the future she keeps it as the ending of her events. 

Oh..upon leaving...we all got goodie bags!! These wasn't no trinket bags either. It was HEAVY lol. Maui Moisture did a wonderful job sponsoring the event. These lotions smell divine and who doesn't love a good tote!! All the goodies inside WILL be used-too cute!! 


Overall, it was one of THE best blogging events I've attended. I am so glad I got the opportunity to go n look forward to showing my face at more in the future. They definitely relayed the message of jewels as a reality check. We are already at the end of 2018-do u realize how fast time is moving. I am excited for 2019 already. I am cheesing just thinkin bout it becuz there's nothing we can't obtain. I have accomplished my goals I set for 2018 by speaking n believing it into existence. What I manifest is real. What u manifest is real n we can make it happen! Now that I have experienced first hand a Dayna Bolden event, I know to expect top notch from beginning to end. We were sent updates leading up to the day of the event n everything was just classy n professional. She carries herself as such too. If you missed out this go round-DO NOT make the same mistake twice. It was well worth the investment which wasn't much honestly (less than $100) and u just leave so full n rich of knowledge n new found friendships. Just amazing!!! 




As if I haven't bragged on this woman enuff...I shall close my post with this...within the goodie bag I found a handwritten n personalized note...let me repeat: A card addressed to ME personally with a HANDWRITTEN thank u note **tosses hands up in the air then grabs scarf to tie my hair up** I AM JUST SO DONE!!! I am BIG n paying attention to customer service. When I shop online at boutiques n such; I am a forever customer when they personally write me a note. The above n beyond-ness just wins me over. I told y'all the number of attendees so to see that she took time out to address ME personally along with the rest of the 100+ women took me the phk OUT!!! I mean I like writing too but got dmn...writing a note to THAT many people...shyyyyyt it would've started out pretty for the first 20...maybe 30 if I had Starbucks but u can rest assure for the remaining 100 women that note would look like a Charlie Brown bang or hieroglyphics of symbols-good lawd!! What can this women NOT do. Now I know I gotta step my shyt up for 2019. It's no way u can say u went to this event n NOT bring ur A game moving fwd. Like seriously...I can't bring no C's home to mama when she outchea showing me how to get the A's. 

Aight...my back hurting but I couldn't let another day go by (aaaah see sacrificed the laziness I wanted to do after work today) without this write up. It will also serve as a reminder to me to hit the ground running come Jan 2019 when I re-read this myself :)



Smooches



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The Art of Alone

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A few things I feel women should do at least one good time in their lifetime: cut their hair…not a trim but go bald. It’s the most empowering feeling ever. I know we use hair as a status of beauty but the truth of the matter is what about those who have no choice to be bald-yes throw on a wig but the feeling of a good breeze whispering over ur dome or the joys of water tap dancing on ur scalp is amazing. It’s a style I always revert back to becuz its easy n I continue to run from the “light skin long hair girl” stereotype. Traveling solo is something I will do very soon. I admire women who do it often. Girl trips are fun when it comes together but just something bout traveling outside ur local bubble to see the world on ur own terms and engaging with strangers (carefully) sounds adventurous and rewarding. When I travel I am in vacation mode which means do not regulate my free time with itineraries n pre-planned to do lists of excursions n sightseeing. I am spontaneous n wanna vacay on a whim. If I wanna sleep in late, be lazy n lounge to enjoy room service or do nothing then so be it. Some people will say oh u come all this way to not see or do blah blah blah-YES!! I am a simple gal. All I need is a change of scenery n good food. Marci is my perfect travel partner. She just gets me. She don’t wake me up n if we do have breakfast, we plan our own day n meet back up if needed at a certain time annnnd go from there. We together but we not together lol. I love it. We respect each other’s space. 


Speaking of space…every woman should learn to live alone **gasp** Now this maybe easy for me to say cuz I’ve never been the clingy, I gots to have somebody, please love me type but I think the independence is a great set up for a relationship u settle with down the line. After my mom died, my stepdad moved on and I moved out into my own place. While I had some concerns about who he moved on with he stated to me “I don’t want to live alone”. I didn’t understand it but I’m sure it holds true to this day for people to feel this way for whatever reason. It’s just interesting to me because since my first taste of freedom, I’ve always loved living alone. I’ve never had an interest in roommates regardless how cost effective it may be. To bask in ur own bachelorette pad, no kids, shopping off deferred payments from Newport News, living off $37.89 til the next payday n having company on at my leisure then kickin em out when I grew bored-maaaan what-that is LIFE!! If you can remember my 2018: Elevation post then I shall update u on where I left off from there: I still have the same sentiments in that post. My focus this year hasn't been dating since I've been putting energy into other things in my life which is mainly just me i.e. where can I grow? areas in my life to be strengthened?...yet the devil does test me with old flames, temptation of new flames but I've held my ground becuz I'm aware of my greatness n I'm not compromising that for temporary feelings of lust n attn.  Being single isn't n doesn't have to be a bad thing. Soul ties are REAL!! My 3rd eye has been so open after my V Steam (Endee is so phkn bomb) that I'm hella picky who I would lay with becuz if and when I start dating, it'll be for a purpose n if I know I want more than just "benefits" I ain't bout to keep moving the same way I've done before to feel a void or "scratch" a need-TUH!! 
Separation Before Elevation

As I am a few years from 40, I see how women feel pressured or in a rush to beat the clock n have kids n be married by a certain age. Oooh the typical terms of what society deems the American dream n pressures of society standards **le sigh**. There are women over 30 with no kids, no desire to have kids or just don’t want kids until they find someone worthy to have kids with. Maybe women over 35 who don’t have kids that would’ve liked to have kids, have come to grips with it not being in the cards. There’s options for single women to have kids but at this point they like eeeh phk it. That’s ok. There’s women who don’t get married and/or have kids for the first time til their over 40. That’s ok. Stop trying to shame folks!! We grow up off this fairytale of being fed to be married within a certain age frame to be stamped with the I MADE IT tag. I don’t know if anyone is paying attention with how ways of the world have evolved buuuut folks ain’t getting married as early or as much and young as they use to back when our parent’s n grands grew up. Me personally…I prefer to date older. I ain’t checkin for nobody my age or younger who press to “turn up” n be a socialite in deez streets. I need someone who is content wit sittin they azzez down sometimes n bein on chill mode but that’s becuz I am a boring homebody. I know folks will also think I’m crazy for being outside the norm but it would be such a dream to be neighbor’s wit my hubby. YES!! Neighbor’s lol. That is prolly the gift n curse of living to self for so long tho-well til Mason came! No matter the case, I am setting and enforcing boundaries. 

The Art of Alone: Sit back n enjoy JUST YOU!! Get to know YOU. Fall in love with urself by urself becuz resting in that place of preparation n knowing ur worth will make a difference in who n what u attract in the long run. I ain't tryin to Iyanla Vanzant y'all bytchez but dmn y'all gotta start recognizing the power we got in deez streets when u require n demand ur worth. 





Smooches


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