Pregnant After 35: Hibernating

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August 2018; 16 wks

To be honest…I really thought I’d have some energy by now. I’ve completely abandoned my blog n social media accts. On one hand it feels good to just take time out to chill n play the background but on the other…I miss playin in makeup n doin shoots so I can write n engage but I’m just not feelin it n I refuse to force it. Summer is over n I did-nothin! I pretty much slept thru it :( Normally we hit the beach a few times buuuut NO! I am still in hibernation mode but I’d rather hibernate along a beach somewhere **le sigh** baby wise; all is well. I feel it squirming around n I have this thing where I randomly pause n hold my breath to watch my belly (aka baby heartbeat). My appetite is all over the place but it’s mainly cravings of junk food n fries #LifeOfUhFormerFatGirl

 I’m gonna need my trainer, Kenya, asap n not just for no snap back cuz I don’t cave into those pressures but just PERIOD!! My waist is widening but thank god for loose/oversized dresses. I be so lazy now I wear no makeup to work **cue horror scream** n throw on a dress n gooooo!! My effort is less as possible. The easier the better! Mason is such a good sport. I have this bell for when I need him which is…well when I get in bed n know I ain’t movin no time soon lol n he comes a running to take care of me. He’s gonna be greatly rewarded when it’s all said n done. 

Oh! I was able to kiss n makeup with one of my other half’s at brunch a few wks ago (refer to vent in previous post) n all is well n back on track after a little miscommunication mishap :D I can now drop my petty n let them enjoy the reveal in a few wks for our next appt. I mean I’ve been holding on to the secret since 10 wks n didn’t tell mason on purpose cuz he’s easily bribable with a mere gift card or headset. They think it’s a girl cuz of my attitude n snippiness but I remain neutral making sure it doesn’t slip out. IM EXCITED!! I already have my nordies cart ready to execute with baby stuff haha.

I'd be totally fakin if I didn't act like anxiety of caring a baby this go round has me walking on eggshells. Maybe it's just the natural feeling after having a miscarriage but for the past 16 wks-I'm nervous AF. I take a break for fresh air, sneakily rub my belly becuz it's such a secret n take a deep breff n enjoy the scenery as is. Then I look down n see a butterfly. It's lightly n calmly sitting there. A sense of calmness now comes over me n in this moment-I just KNEW-everything will work out as WE desire. This is where my spirit tells me to pay attention to the universe n God whispers to relax  <3

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