This is such a full circle moment for me and I'm quite excited.
A WHOLE AZZ YEAR YALL!!!
Jan 2019; 37 wks
I have survived the Christmas Holiday which I totally wasn’t in the mood for n ready to head into the new year-FRESSHHHHHHHHH. As I rub this belly that constantly kicks n takes cat naps, this has been a wild ride. I won’t lie n say I’ve enjoyed every minute yet I am grateful for it. By next week, my job will be DONE in Jesus name. I am more ready than Tevin Campbell could ever be at this point. Baby Bae Bag is ready…my bag been packed since last month n the closer the date comes, the more anxious n excited yet nervous I get. I am TEAM C-SECTION. I am also TEAM PUT ME TO SLEEP to go along with it. I don’t care about this so called recovery time n V Backness n blah blah blah. Folks kill me as if they deserve a cookie for doing it naturally wit no meds or pushing **slow clap** the end results are the same: motherhood. Plus wit me bein stitched up I have no option other than a c-section so I’m cool wit that. Surprisingly, I’m able to be more mobile than I expected. The TTB (teeny tiny bump) hasn’t doubled in size (this baby loves me already) n I rotate the same 4 outfits a week. My greatest fantasy to keep me motivated within these last moments is envisioning good SLEEP in a comfy bed. I dmn near wanna plan a staycay in a hotel to luxuriously dive into those comfy duvet sheets n sleep-UNINTERRUPTED!! After this grand finale…I will rest n snap back into life as I gotta hit the ground running becuz Spring 2019 semester starts mid-month annnnd I wanna head up to NY for my bday weekend. I am ready for a full makeover n overhaul for myself into a better me. Shedding that dead snakeskin to reveal the New Year, New Me.
Jan 2019; 38 wks
Happy Birthday!! OMG HE’S HERE!! HE’S HERE!! We got to the hospital early cuz we were scheduled to be first up. As calm as I was being, I was secretly listening to my heart pound with anxiousness. Like wow, this is the moment we’ve been waiting for. Time went by slow n sped up outta nowhere. I go to the back to get prepped up n monitored-SHYT IS GETTING REAL-REAL! My mind is racing. I haven’t been in this position in 12 yrs. WTF AM I DOIN? I said I’d do WHAT? My doctor comes in cheesing like YALL READY? As if i can say no lol. I feel like my body is shaking n then we arrive in that bright cold azz delivery room. The team is getting sooted n booted. My mind automatically starts processing from start to finish how we got here. I AM CRAZY AS HELL FOR DOIN THIS!! Babydaddy is next to me…I don’t care cuz at this point I hate all men! Anybody wit a penis I’m mad at. Why they can’t be in THIS position. Shyt just ain’t fair…ok focus…at this point all I hear is Charlie Brown’s teacher n then “Happy Birthday” wit some crying. I know in the movies they put that dirty gooey messy baby all up in ur face for the 1st glimpse. I SEE NOTHING!! My eyes are either focused on the ceiling or shut tight. Babydaddy is fascinated by the science of it all. As my insides shifted n prolly dangling (hell I can’t feel it), I remind him to not make me laugh. I ain’t want no mishaps when they was tryin to put this humpty dumpty together again. While in the recovery room, I couldn’t help but stare in awe as happiness filled my heart for my boys. WE DID IT!! They’ve been here every step of the way. To think it all started from a drag cruise haha. I didn’t think I could love them anymore than I did until I seen them hover over this new life I helped bring into the world. My Boys became Two n Uh Half Men.
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