Sometimes I pause before I hit submit to post some things becuz even iiiiii think I can be…tew much. Like how do u find the balance to not overshare yet still share just enuff esp as someone who’s a writer. I honestly don’t know becuz I just go with what my heart allows. It’s also easier for me becuz the shyt that comes to my mind is…I can’t possibly be the only one thinkin this soooo why hasn’t anyone else said shyt :7 Growing up I’ve obviously blocked out the “what will people think of u” mentality n do my own thang. When I was young I would say I’m from Mars-my mom said stop sayin that lol (hence my fascination with astronomy) but I’ve always just felt like I’m in my own lane n I’m cool with that. I feel like my vulnerable side didn’t come out til I went bald starting my natural hair journey. Honestly…that shyt is scary to not know what in the entire phk u gonna look like wit NO HAIR!! I was able to overcome one of the scariest moments n it’s the reason why hair means nothing to me now. I’ve been bald wit a fat face, skinny face, dry face, brows ain’t did face, full makeup face n in the end…it’s still ALL ME!! But why do I so freely tell yall my bidness tho…I can find a stranger n they know my life within hours…ask me a question n I’ll give u a straight up no fluff answer. Why??? Becuz guess what…I have no shame in my story. I have no shame about my life-past or present. When u see my True Hollywood Story (remember that show) or the next Unsung; there’s nothing u will hear to be like oh wow I never knew (well maybe). I have taken any power n leeway to be blackmailed lol. There is no scandals over here!
I had a convo wit a guy who would get offended becuz I always joked about anybody wit more than 2 kids is too many n of course becuz he got more than…he felt some kind of way n said I act like I have no skeletons in my closet. Ummm….I don’t. I have shared quite often the tribe of kids that await me in heaven. That’s no secret. If there’s something I don’t want anyone to know-trust me-NOBODY would know. Anyone who knows anything about me is becuz it was volunTOLD by me or witnessed (hearsay don't count). The things I admire most about people are ones willing to share their stories of struggle n abnormality without fear of judgement becuz let’s be honest…that’s mainly why we can be so silent in our stories. We don’t want it tossed back up in our faces later on or looked down upon for mistakes made. The times we are comin into is so sensitive n u can’t make the slightest pun or joke without it offending someone. I hate that. As a lover of comedy, I can appreciate the art of a comedian who tells a story of life experiences in such a way that although it may come off to some people as offensive, it’s not the intention behind the JOKE. There’s no malice in sharing their experience or feelings but shyt gets taken out of context too much. Remember when Kevin Hart gave up his spot to host The Oscars over an old azz tweet? That was so ridick to me. It’s like ooooh coooome oooon. U know dmn well Lil Kev is NOT homophobic n he ain’t tweet nothing different than how someone else feels in a jokey way. Maaaaan I am not deleting no old azz tweets nor am I gonna sit around n justify anything said or done years ago because we evolve with time. Thoughts n perspectives change with life experiences.
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| I said what I said-AND WHAT!! |
Being vulnerable and letting ur guard down takes some balls. Are u willing to be the only one standing in a room? The odd one out? When I made the decision to speak about having a miscarriage it was such a weight lifted off my shoulder yet a relief becuz I received love n support from those who experienced the same. That’s what we need more of…support groups. A space where we can be open n real with each other to pour love into n not have to deal with it amongst ourselves. I started reading n seeing more women share their own stories and it was empowering for me to share more. My FAQ post almost didn't happen becuz I wasn't sure if would be well received n it's not often u hear about surrogacy yet I didn't wanna keep tip toeing bout it cuz I mean-it's apart of my life.
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| Making mistakes is better than faking perfections -Brother Leonard aka C Tha God |
The stories u don’t typically read about often or know exists intrigue me. With time, I am becoming a better version of myself-not sorry! The delivery might come off abrasive but it's not with bad intent-I don't want no smoke! There may also be things I choose to keep private about annnnd I ain't explaining why or why not. Apart of my confidence comes wit owning my shyt n I'm in full control of every aspect. I shall continue to wear my heart on my sleeve through my safe haven of these pages on MY blog. By doin so, yes it opens me to ridicule or bein talked about and I’m fine with that becuz it comes wit the price of putting urself on the forefront. It's funny to me cuz I know some folks look to go viral n popular not knowing it unlocks pandora's box for trolls to scroll ur life span for display. My personality n alter ego is for the shyts, in reality I'm chillin behind the scenes. This isn't to come off like I'm solid as a rock **cue Ashford n Simpson song** or as if nothing can hurt me. I am human n I choose to share my scars differently. If your on the fence to speak out loud, I understand. I also know there's healing from sharing. Whether u agree or disagree, at least respect my story being told first hand by ME!
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| Smooches |
Truly balls of beauty and the audacity of ambivalance of self with us. Knowing full well others call the "ugly" and not care. You are an inspiration and your prize is awaiting you just be patient. Thank you for inspiring, motivating, and sharing all of you!
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