2019: Year of Inspiration

Keeping within the trend of my motto: Inspire.Motivate.Elevate, the theme for 2019 will be Inspiration. After hibernating last year, I’ve been sparked to proceed with my creativity and lead intentionally into my next phase of life tapping into all aspects that apply ie motherhood, career, love, education and time. I want to make calculated moves that will benefit the direction I’m headed in. I know they’ll be some sacrifices along the way but it’s necessary in moving fwd. Being on maternity leave felt like foooorever! I am not meant to be a stay at home mom becuz I get bored fast. I spoiled Mason taking him to school every morning then I may have stopped pass Starbucks a time or 2. From the previous blog post..in my head, I was ready to hit the streets. In reality, my body still was not connecting that same energy to my brain to function. I needed to be reminded of major surgeries my body endured but I knew I couldn't get lost in being lazy because it would soon be time to return to work. The days of lounging and looking for things to do whether around the house (my closet still isn't fully purged) or outside for fresh air at my leisure would soon come to an end. 

My boost of energy came one day when I woke up and did my daily routine which also included checking out my favorite IG influencers, podcasts and seeing Wendy return to hosting. I knew I had a few weeks left and even the option of getting my leave extended but to draw from the strength of phenomenal women moved me. The anticipation of Spring moved me. The lazy procrastinating woman in me teetered on making the call to extend my leave and benefits by another month or so. The superwoman in me was fed up with life passing me by. It was time for me to get off my azz n get back in deez streets. I picked a date n typed up my email to send out **cue long pause** WAIT...maybe I'm not ready to go back **shakes head** Yea I am, what else am I doin? I'm blessed to have survived giving birth n being mobile **rubs healed incisions** NO, not yet **deletes return date** I..can't...**checks bank account** Bytch suck it up **re-enters date** I meeeean, ain't like I work in construction or nothing right? I gotta do this **takes deep breathe** SEND!!!

BOOM!!! CASH MONEY TAKIN OVER FOR THE 99 N 2000'S!!! Just like that IM BACK!! My first week back to work was umm...yea slightly overwhelming. Baby brain is so real lol. I be having dumb blonde moments and I hate asking a question then re-asking like oh yea what was that again? It's so weird. I made sure I eased back with later hours because my sleep is still just OFF. No, I don't have to be a slave to a baby every few hours but insomnia randomly sets in and I just didn't want to commit to early hours. I am thankful n grateful for the flexibility and understanding of co-workers. I eased in quite nicely. This year thus far has been so rewarding for me. I rev'd the engine n just took off. I feel soooo good. I am still finding my balance with work, school and motherhood. I am starting to feel the effects of dealing with a pre-teen so I may or may not be holding his neck in my hand while typing with one hand at this time! 

My Their Our baby is pushing THREE whole azz months!! I love seeing men be involved with their kids. My boys are finding their groove and killing it. They are in tune to his quirky ways n changes, I am so impressed and totally in love with their evolution into this parenting life. To know how overly loved this baby is, my heart just overflows. I stare at him, watch him smile at me n relish in the innocence he has. No preconception of the world or what it entails. A fresh brain empty from prejudice and no cares of anything or anyone-just pure love. It softens my heart. All he knows is SOMEBODY better feed n change me. You gotta talk to him or in my case...sing JODECI songs, he's so special. 

Ok so I've gotten my azz up off the couch...now what: to be honest, I'm still taking easing back into the world day by day. I wish women could be afforded longer maternity leave not just for your physical but mental. I can't imagine how mothers hop back into the working world after a hiatus with the added stress of a baby. I can't even remember how iiiii did it 12 yrs ago with Mason. You should definitely listen to your body tho. I get up early yet still move at a steady pace to not rush. It makes a difference in my mood lol. 

So here's the crazy part...I don't know if this is a form of body dysmorphia or what but I feel like I appear smaller than I am :7 I am not pressured nor care to partake in the "snapback" movement. My body is naturally falling back into place-I guess! I meeeean, I was a good 8 months in the left pic n felt cheated from my baby bump. I know it seems like BAM I made an announcement then days later it was an arrival then VOILA I'm back to skinty-NO! My appetite is still in a awkward stage. Rarely do I eat meat (I am loyal to chicken) and I've adopted being a huge snacker. Chips are love, I became obsessed with Lindor's (I buy em 2 at a time), pumpkin seeds are the shyt n Starbucks became a horrible craving. Trust me, I have no secrets to losing weight after baby n my diet is faaaaar from Keto. My portions of a meal are small to say the least and even after all that...I'm still holding on to 20 lbs out of the 40 I gained. WTF!!! My Pamela Anderson boobs deflated to T-Boz's. I have been subjected to loose fitting clothes n still avoid fastening pants which constricts my waist into greatness only to emphasize the FUPA-ness lol. I wore some pants one day to work annnnd my thighs were clapping harder than Sister Gertrude at an Easter Sunday sermon. I said oh naaaah, I gotta call Kenya (my trainer) ASAP!! This is just unacceptable. 

I ain't bragging tho :P Speaking of shed...I got questions on the infamous postpartum hair loss. I know the myth is how much our hair grows during pregnancy. Not really the case. You just shed less. Then after baby guess what...all that long luxurious hair u credited to this lovely bundle of joy...comes falling out **cue scene from Tina Turner movie after her perm** I hate to sound like a unicorn buuuut I didn't shed no more than usual. I can't even say it's from a healthy hair regimen cuz again...I eat like shyt n I had my hair twisted up for months at a time. I will say my scalp was horribly dry along with the rest of my skin n I layered my moisturization using oil n butter combos. Between the seasons changing n my body coming back into normalcy it's getting better. My dry patches from "leopracy" (adult eczema) are fading too. Whhhheeeew the things we go thru to bring life into the world I tell ya :7 It's important for me to get back to self. Don't fall into the false expectations of what u see online with snapbacks n just go at ur own pace. Small steps turn into bigger triumphs in the long run. 

Jacket: ASOS
Dress: Goldenbird Boutique
Boots: Jeffrey Campbell (Nordies)

4th Trimester:

There's no formula I can offer to give new moms to get their mojo back. Everybody is different. I've seen other moms older than me bounce back quicker n some younger take longer. I just admire the strength of a woman no matter how big or small after babies to be incredible. I am still standing. I take advantage of the boost of energy I do get and be as productive as possible. My school work can at times suck the life out of what's left but in the end...it has to get done-period. I'm excited to step my big toe back into the world n come off the porch this season. THIS IS MY TIME!!! Muva is waking up from hibernation. Yaaaasssss, I be my own hype man lol. Heading into 2nd quarter of the year, I look forward to INSPIRATION. Whether I am inspiring or getting inspired. I love the transfer of energy in a positive way n the accountability to keep me pushing. We all need it. I have been on the bench for a long time...put me in the gaaaame coach!! 

Smooches

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Labels: Beauty , Fashion