July 2018; 11 wks
I have been tired..bytchy and annoyed by any n everything! The tiredness I expect cuz I always sleep thru the first trimester wit ease. I’m in bed by 8p, sometimes before n lounge all weekend (even tho my plans been to purge clothes n unpack boxes). I just can’t seem to muster up the energy for nothing. At work I be dozing like I’m off that “blue magic” and get the –itis to the 10th power after I eat. Crazy. I’ve been gladly hibernating n staying to self becuz I don’t feel like being bothered to entertain or be entertained. I know my boys be sick of my ‘tude but I really want to be left alone!! Nothing against anyone but people annoy me n my clapbacks have the possibility of fire behind it so let me enjoy solitude. I’ve had a few people point it out cuz my facial expressions can’t squeeze out a fake smile n I feel bad I randomly yawn as they talkin.
My whole aura n energy is just thrown off so I need my sister to sage me again lol. I’m sure within the next couple of weeks my energy shall reappear n my attitude will adjust to higher spirits but for now…the tank is empty! My shyt is on E. It really is hard not shouting how happy u are to the high heavens so for sanity purposes only a few people know n they know me so well becuz they respect my space n our privacy. The 10 tubes of blood drawn n a pee cup later didn’t help either but I remind myself…it’ll all be worth it in the end-plus I’m excited to know the gender too. I have an awesome reveal in mind :D One claims he don’t wanna know **eye roll** he’s from the N.O. n u know how superstitious they be :7
July 2018; 13 wks
OMG where do I start…HAPPY 2ND TRIMESTER!!! The surgery of getting stitched up was a success yet the aftermath was horrendous! I got my backed stabbed up wit the epidural so many times it left me with back pains n an excruciating headache for a week >:< I toughened it out like a G tho cuz im not for takin the oxy n etc so I tried Tylenol-still got sick n just stuck to some good ol’ essential oils to ease the pain (peppermint, lavender and eucalyptus). Between my team of babydaddies, mason n my sister (who doesn’t know) I’ve been well taken care of and im grateful cuz driving round ain’t an option. I was so nauseous n weak, scared to eat cuz I threw up a few times-mason became the king of making me toast. Everything subsided by the end of the week but I ain’t anticipate all that cuz it was easy peasy last time. I’m starting to get some energy back, taking it light wit my appetite n peeking out from hibernation, although I still really don’t feel like being bothered by people. Dmn the summer is almost over n I have nothing planned :( this is a first for me.
Lemme vent really quick…the male species will never understand the changes n emotions a woman’s body goes thru during this time. I know they put up wit the hormone changes n mood swings but do NOT give me shyt n attitude becuz I am 15 min late to a dr appt ESP after the hell week I been goin thru recouping from surgery. OMG!! They annoyed the phk outta me asking if the appt was cancelled cuz I wasn’t there ON TIME :7 My reply: **deletes more harsh reply** did I notify u of any cancellations? Oh. Ok!! Like dude…chill TF out. The dmn concert can’t start until the star arrives no dmn way n as a new parent-learn some patience!!! Whew I feel better letting that out. Sooo now Mr. I don’t wanna know the gender, wants to know the gender **eye roll** and I had this lavish gender reveal planned but they getting on my nerves so bad I don’t even feel like doin it no more cuz they take all the phkn fun out of it. GOT DMN!!! I will let them know at the next appt which is around 18 wks or so since that’s when they do the whole anatomy scan n etc. One of them made a request to come in before that to make sure everything is ok…I paused with compassion becuz I get it-HOWEVER, without tryin to sound like an azzhole imma say this…I am NOT comin to the dr ofc every week nor am I walkin on eggshells living in fear of. I need everyone to get on this positive thinking train n ride that bytch knowing the good lord above has taken the wheel to guide us into victory-HELLO!!! I need them to trust that I wouldn’t do nothing to jeopardize myself or this unborn child n if iiiiiiiiiiii felt the need to consult the dr for anything that felt off I would do so. Again…I get it, they wanna make sure their baby is good esp given how things ended last time but if his ol’ step on a crack, break ya mama back azz don’t leave me alooooone-ugh! I still love them though. Lawd I should prolly start some therapy sessions…(remind me to do an after actions report when this is all done).
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