Greatness is a Process

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"We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it"
-Rick Warren


Fun Fact: I am a 3rd generation Washingtonian!! I've lived everywhere in DC except SW (i believe) and although I've grown to enjoy a more subtle less urban life; I haven't forgot where I came from. It's actually quite interesting as my memory is horrible yet childhood memories can be triggered by something as small as an old song or just looking back at pics. My parents graduated from Dunbar High which prolly been tore down and reconstructed 4 times over since the 80's. My roots start in DC, mostly Southern Ave. I lived there for 13 yrs. Ever since I left I've always had dreams of this place and wanted to go back. I used to pass by it and reminisce of my childhood here. I was being spontaneous one afternoon with Mason in the car and finally decided to stop there. It had been 22 years since walking those grounds and what once seemed so huge felt small. Like dmn did the neighborhood shrink? 


"A people without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots"
-Marcus Garvey
I parked right behind the building of where we lived. It's exactly how I remembered it besides a few updates around the windows (we had the crank method to open it vs sliding it) but I stood in the parking lot looking around and taking it all in. I was in the very spot where my mom's car was repeatedly broken into and vandalized. I was in the spot near the trash where someone was fatally shot. I was in the spot where I would race back in forth from one playground to the next with my friends. I was home! As I gave Mason a tour and marvaled at changes throughout the grounds, I opened the door to my building and walked up the steps...



Aaaah I remember when my mom fell up these steps holding my baby brother, Kash (lol) and as bad as I would've loved to knock on my old apartment door to walk through, I realized ummm...these aren't the days where celebrities knock on the door wit the camera crew talking bout "Oh hey I used to live here can I invade ur space and look around ur home to compare to the good ol' days-thanx" lol yea naw!! 

 

I really pondered on this post for a minute and archived it for a while (Sept to be exact n my hair has grown a lot since then yet cut all over again haha) but I guess speaking on where and how I grew up is personal. Like REALLY personal. Sometimes you can meet a person and judge them off what's in ur face or what they have now without truly knowing their background or what they've gone through to get to where they are today. We come through so many different walks of life yet nobody really talks about it-the good ol' days I guess. We are shaped from our childhood and upbringings. I try to teach Mason to be appreciative of what he has because our kids grow up with more luxuries than we did. He will never know what it's like to go without AC. He will never know how to live wit roaches. He will never know what it's like to eat cereal with water. He will never know what it's like to live in the hood which makes my job that much harder for him to learn street smarts. I look at these kids now and days who lack street smarts (common sense) that would be so lost in the world I grew up in. I officially feel like an old head watching my younger siblings and family grow up now. How unfair it is that kids won't know what it's like to drive a bucket **eye roll** I mean hell in 5 yrs, Mason will surely be driving and if I decide to pass down my car **pause to think** his first car will have all the bells n whistles >:< eeeehhhh lemme ponder on that...


So while visiting I found it so cute and innocent for Mason to see random kids playing and joining in. This kid makes friends anywhere. When I was growing up there wasn't many kids near my complex but when they slowly trickled in, I went outside by the swings and we all gravitated towards each other until the gang grew. I used to be so press to throw my book bag down n head straight outside. Other kids from other complexes always came to our side to hang wit us. My friends taught me how to ride a bike, hop out a swing, and double dutch. We hated rainy days but mainly retreated to loitering the hallways or somebody house. 


This post isn't a prelude to a book of my life but just to briefly give a glimpse of where I'm from. My life is far from where I used to be and I'm blessed to have better circumstances within my life and provide a better opportunity for Mason. Although I do have an air about me (a manner of behaving that conveys an impression) I am still an around the way girl ;)

smooches

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Est. 1981

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On this day, God spoke unto the world. When I was cut out of my mommy's womb HE whispered unto thee world; "your welcome"-Kishathians 1:26

Guess who’s made it another year in age??? This gal. I am officially Thirty Six!! EEEK!!! I honestly can’t remember the last 5 yet looking forward to more. Not Cicely Tyson more but close enuff. As I’ve got another year under my belt, I must pause to thank God for letting me make it thus far becuz a lot of people don’t make it to celebrate their born day. Folks dropping like mixtapes whether it’s from senseless violence or health problems. Whatever the case maybe…I’m here and I’m grateful. I must say it feels weird knocking on 40’s door becuz I don’t feel like I should be getting this “old”. Not that 40 is old…but I meeean when you’re in your teens n early 20’s anything over 30 is considered an “old head”. My parents are in their 50’s looking phkn fabulous and my grandma is 75 just as witty n crazy as me! So I have nothing to worry bout as I gracefully get older. I used to cringe around 25 thinkin oh shyt im headed towards 30 but I am open to welcoming the wisdom gained n lessons learned with aging. Plus I gotta stay hip and in the 'no to decipher these younger generations slang talk. Yall know Mason will NOT be pullin no fast one on ME wit the lingo. I go through his phone, ipad and even snatch his headphones to listen in on those xbox group convo’s that goes on cuz I am THAT MOM who is nosy “AF”.

 
 



So reflecting on my past year of being 35…I’ve learned my patience n tolerance is low. Like I feel I’m at a point in my life where I refuse to waste time. Do NOT try ur hand n approach me if yo shyt ain't in order. I'm gonna need the man above to send me a well-prepared n ready man. Not nobody who got "a lot going on". NEEEEEEXT!!! I wanna surround myself with positive and uplifting folks becuz when I say I enjoy being drama free…honeychiiiiiiiiild I think that’s one of the keys to stayin young n fab. I have NO WORRIES (as Sunny says) becuz I ain’t takin on nobody’s drama, I ain’t got no bytches ringing my phone wonderin who I am to they man, don’t ask me for no money cuz I aint got it, no babydaddy drama…u naaaaaame it. I’ve also learned to let go. It pains me at the mere thought of things I’ve left behind in my condo (materialistic shyt) that I’m sure I would’ve hoarded into my new place becuz I’ve always had a tough time of letting go. I feel like when I work hard for something I wanna keep it forever. However, when I’m sitting around wit “stuff” it gets cluttery and I hate clutter. I’ve destashed my makeup n givin it to my sister (who I am VERY proud of in becoming the MUA I wish I could’ve been) and clothes, shoes, just things that I can’t take with me if I dropped dead today. 


This is my current mood!!! Happy, Grateful, Excited, Optimistic, Blessed, Woke, Carefree, Giving. I am sooooooo winning right now :) #HumbleBrag It's taken me a long time to get to this point tho. I wasn't always like this so I refuse to dim my light because someone perceives it to be anything other than what iiiiiiii say it is. I am a non-conformist and not what you expect me to be. If you know us Aquarian's we are pretty close to what the zodiac reads of us. I actually think I have balls becuz I have aquarian men traits as well especially in the relationship department. I am reluctant to relationships where I have to compromise my independence. I enjoy my space n time to self. In a perfect world, me and my husband will live next door to each other. I applaud anybody who can put up with an us especially Aquarian men cuz we are no walk in the park. 





All isn't lost. Beneath my savage exterior and I don't give a dmn attitude I swear I'm a gentle giant. I am loyal to those loyal to me. Just don't poke the bear cuz I go for the jugular. I've been working on my sarcastic mouth for years LOL...still a work in progress at times. I also think I get it from my daddy who's birthday isn't far from mine (31st) #AquarianTwins <3 Sooooo what do I have planned for my birthday. It's the infamous question every year. I am honestly not big on birthday celebrations of myself. I've always gone to work, enjoy birthday well wishing calls/txts/songs and I have everything I want right now-PEACE & HAPPINESS!!! Who can ask for anything moooooore :D




But actually an ironic gift I'll be getting is what I hate the most: MAFF!!!! I have a math class starting this semester ON my freakin birthday >:< Pray for me. Dinner with amazing men in my life is always cherry on top for me ;) Cheers to making it another year. I have nothing planned for the year and I wanna keep it that way. I want to continue walking by faith becuz apparently everything I had planned has never worked. If you would've told me 10 yrs ago that I would NOT be happily married w/2-3 kids, living in a house with a white picket fence and a dream job, I would've gave the biggest TUH ever. Funny how we have our lives planned out and God just steady chuckling knowin he gonna hit us wit a little razzle dazzle. 


Hair: +TheDamnSalon
Jacket: +STEVE MADDEN (TJ Maxx)
Dress: +Forever 21
Clutch: @camillaclosedclutches
Shoes: Jessica Simpson from +Nordstrom
Makeup by Me

Photography: DeBurr



How I stay sane: I don't take myself too seriously. Being semi-emotionless has it's benefits lol. Nothing shakes me and I'm the Queen of Petty and Unbothered **tee hee** Live life with no expectations and you can never be disappointed. If things happen to go your way; congrats. Pray often, Give Thanx-not just when your down but when ur up. Be open to trying different things n stepping out the box. I've yet to fail stepping out my comfort zone. It's one of the most liberating things to take that leap n not look back. Don't let me get too deep. I'll stop right here: 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! 


Smooches

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2017...I'm already there!

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I must say...looking back and reflecting on 2016, I have no complaints-AT ALL!!! This year has been full of blessings on top of blessings. As KK always says "I'm Grateful". It's been a full year since I've left the public safety lifestyle where I had moved on to getting back into the 9 to 5 world and just when you think it can get no better than a breath of fresh air, comes another opportunity too good to pass up. Hence my current job where I can say without a doubt I absolutely LOVE going to. There is such a huge difference when you work with a bunch of men. There's no office drama, gossip, foolishness of the sorts and I have never been SO at peace it's almost like a dream. I don't want to come off so braggy but I just want to share my story and the results of what you get when you take a leap of faith and put what you want into the atmosphere. God has yet to fail me with giving me what I've asked for. 


  


























With that being said I've had some L's this year as well. Started the year off losing my god brother Ricky, learned being a homeowner is overrated, and found out my idea of loyalty and friendship doesn't equate to others so distance came into the picture and that's when folks drop like mixtapes! The older I'm getting the less tolerance I have of foolishness and when you start living life with no expectations of others you can't end up disappointed. The status of my love life isn't complicated, taken or married. It's private with options. Don't cry for me Argentina!!! I've been so busy praying my way into jobs and money I actually pause every now n then and realized I've neglected to pray on love-then I get distracted and forget **shrugs** I predict I'll be married by 40 (but I'm not press-again no expectations leads to being stress free) and with how much health insurance is costing (and depending on what y'all elected president bout to do) I might need to recruit sooner than later cuz ummmm 2 heads are better than 1 these days.


Gains n losses-that's life! I take nothing for granted and open to receiving my blessings. I am surrounded by wonderful people, spoiled crazy by my boys, loved dearly by Mason and put up with by y'all lol. Thank You <3 Because I'm such a forward thinker...my mindset is already in 2017. I'm over Xmas coming up in a few weeks, ready to celebrate the New Years and wish everyone gets what their hearts desire. There's nothing that's impossible and when you let go, let God just watch him work. I know that's easier said than done but I know from experience. Ain't stressing over nere nothing. I've been done dirty, had things taken from me and etc. and I've yet to not experience restoration afterwards in one way, shape or form. No worries!!!! Try it and flourish ;) 



Hair: Urban Twists by +TheDamnSalon
Dress: +nakimuliinc 
Shop Here

Quick FOTD:
+MAC Cosmetics Face & Body (C6)
+NARS Cosmetics concealer (ginger) mixed w/mac studio concealer
+AnastasiaBeverlyHills Brow Wiz (caramel) mixed w/ Mac Spiked pencil
Eyes: Mac Woodwinked/Amber Lights w/soft brown n bamboo (crease), Lashes: old ones +Forever 21
Contour: Nars Casino (fave)
Highlight: Mac Warm Soul w/ +Bobbi Brown Cosmetics Bronze Glow (must have)
Cheeks: Mac Gingerly (fave)
Lips: Mac Cork Liner, +Tom Ford International Sable Smoke (best nude ever) w/hint of +Christian Dior "mirrored" gloss
and as always unless stated otherwise...face done by yours truly :)





Smooches

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Blush and Such

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Yaaaaay Fall Wear!!! I told y'all I am SO here for Blush n Olive's for the season. I get a few questions on how I shop and I honestly have no solid answer. I don't really look. It's whatever catches my eye. A whole look might not even come together for weeks at a time before I pick up pieces along the way and it might be a month or so later where I get that signature A-HA piece to complete the AWN-SAWN-BULL (ensemble) **waves pinky** I also know MY style. I am a pants/trousers/wide legs kinda gal when it gets cool outside. My mama would kill me but i do NOT wear stockings n tights...although I would be open to venturing out to some designed ones I have in mind. I haven't worn them in so long being in the uniform wearing business-work wise that I'm just really getting in the groove expressing my "Work Cooture Wear". 

 

Although I peep the "trends" I'm not a trends shopper per say. I like to add timeless pieces to my wardrobe becuz I recycle my shyt hmph and I'm a mix n matcher! Florals and pointy toes NEVER go out of style...those sneaker wedges-yikes...(never followed that one-thank goodness) and solid color blazers u can't go wrong with. I actually stepped out my comfort zone becuz I feel like these straight peg leg looking pants remind me of high waters! I've always had long legs and finding pants catering to us tall statured creatures is hard n just came around within the last 10 yrs or so. I used to have to go a size UP for the pants to hit my ankles :( But since I preach to folks to step outside the box I took a chance and it worked!!



I <3 SWEATER DRESSEEEEEES!!!! I like em form fitting for special occasions but mainly loose cuz I like the Mystique of a woman where u really don't know what's going on under there ya know PLUS I'm not going to work lookin like "teacher bae" cuz I'm "low key" tee hee ;) I'm a size 12 but I still get em in 14's or 16's depending on WHO makes it and where I'd be wearing it too. If I get a form fitting sweater dress that calls for spanx to come to the rescue to smooth my lumps n bumps out-plus that means I don't plan on being greedy for dinner or something cuz ummmm I hate stuffing my face wit tight clothes on. 

 

Sweater dresses are no brainers for me. I don't have to put much thought into what I'm gonna put together cuz it's basically a onesie lol. Solid color dresses can be dressed up or down (depending on the style) and you can toss on accessories like scarves, belts or even a bold head wrap to change the look. I also go for bold prints to make me look thinner...ie stripes. The illusion my waist is smaller and I aint gotta suck in my stomach to snap a pic haha is what I love about patterns n prints. Even tho it'll be in the 80's this week in DMV I couldn't wait to throw this dress on. I'm just excited for sweater weather period. Mason's football season is over so I can free up more time for photoshoots-yaaaay!! Sephora VIB sale is also upon us so I gotta do a post on my makeup picks :) But I digress....

Jacket: +T.J.Maxx  ($30)
Bodyshirt: +Forever 21 ($15)
Belt: +H&M ($7)
Pants: +T.J.Maxx ($20)
Shoes: +Nordstrom Halogen ($60)
Shout out to my Paki Bae, Sunny who flicks me up during lunch haha

Dress: +ASOS ($20)
Shoes: +Nordstrom Rack Sam Edelman ($45)
Shout out to my sidekick Mason on the flicks

Something I really want to grab this season...some really nice black distressed stretch jeans. I've FAILED in my search for a pair thus far and really need to go to the mall (which I dislike) and actually try some on becuz it's sooooo hard finding THE right pair these days :( Please leave suggestions-Thanx!!! and noooow for some EXTRA PICS....


Lunch wit my girls at the harbor since Tiff (middle) got grown on us and took a job on the Cayman Islands **rolls eyes** The nerve of her leaving us for paradise lol. Thank God for What's App!!



Smooches








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