The Art of Alone

A few things I feel women should do at least one good time in their lifetime: cut their hair…not a trim but go bald. It’s the most empowering feeling ever. I know we use hair as a status of beauty but the truth of the matter is what about those who have no choice to be bald-yes throw on a wig but the feeling of a good breeze whispering over ur dome or the joys of water tap dancing on ur scalp is amazing. It’s a style I always revert back to becuz its easy n I continue to run from the “light skin long hair girl” stereotype. Traveling solo is something I will do very soon. I admire women who do it often. Girl trips are fun when it comes together but just something bout traveling outside ur local bubble to see the world on ur own terms and engaging with strangers (carefully) sounds adventurous and rewarding. When I travel I am in vacation mode which means do not regulate my free time with itineraries n pre-planned to do lists of excursions n sightseeing. I am spontaneous n wanna vacay on a whim. If I wanna sleep in late, be lazy n lounge to enjoy room service or do nothing then so be it. Some people will say oh u come all this way to not see or do blah blah blah-YES!! I am a simple gal. All I need is a change of scenery n good food. Marci is my perfect travel partner. She just gets me. She don’t wake me up n if we do have breakfast, we plan our own day n meet back up if needed at a certain time annnnd go from there. We together but we not together lol. I love it. We respect each other’s space. 

Speaking of space…every woman should learn to live alone **gasp** Now this maybe easy for me to say cuz I’ve never been the clingy, I gots to have somebody, please love me type but I think the independence is a great set up for a relationship u settle with down the line. After my mom died, my stepdad moved on and I moved out into my own place. While I had some concerns about who he moved on with he stated to me “I don’t want to live alone”. I didn’t understand it but I’m sure it holds true to this day for people to feel this way for whatever reason. It’s just interesting to me because since my first taste of freedom, I’ve always loved living alone. I’ve never had an interest in roommates regardless how cost effective it may be. To bask in ur own bachelorette pad, no kids, shopping off deferred payments from Newport News, living off $37.89 til the next payday n having company on at my leisure then kickin em out when I grew bored-maaaan what-that is LIFE!! If you can remember my 2018: Elevation post then I shall update u on where I left off from there: I still have the same sentiments in that post. My focus this year hasn't been dating since I've been putting energy into other things in my life which is mainly just me i.e. where can I grow? areas in my life to be strengthened?...yet the devil does test me with old flames, temptation of new flames but I've held my ground becuz I'm aware of my greatness n I'm not compromising that for temporary feelings of lust n attn.  Being single isn't n doesn't have to be a bad thing. Soul ties are REAL!! My 3rd eye has been so open after my V Steam (Endee is so phkn bomb) that I'm hella picky who I would lay with becuz if and when I start dating, it'll be for a purpose n if I know I want more than just "benefits" I ain't bout to keep moving the same way I've done before to feel a void or "scratch" a need-TUH!! 

Separation Before Elevation

As I am a few years from 40, I see how women feel pressured or in a rush to beat the clock n have kids n be married by a certain age. Oooh the typical terms of what society deems the American dream n pressures of society standards **le sigh**. There are women over 30 with no kids, no desire to have kids or just don’t want kids until they find someone worthy to have kids with. Maybe women over 35 who don’t have kids that would’ve liked to have kids, have come to grips with it not being in the cards. There’s options for single women to have kids but at this point they like eeeh phk it. That’s ok. There’s women who don’t get married and/or have kids for the first time til their over 40. That’s ok. Stop trying to shame folks!! We grow up off this fairytale of being fed to be married within a certain age frame to be stamped with the I MADE IT tag. I don’t know if anyone is paying attention with how ways of the world have evolved buuuut folks ain’t getting married as early or as much and young as they use to back when our parent’s n grands grew up. Me personally…I prefer to date older. I ain’t checkin for nobody my age or younger who press to “turn up” n be a socialite in deez streets. I need someone who is content wit sittin they azzez down sometimes n bein on chill mode but that’s becuz I am a boring homebody. I know folks will also think I’m crazy for being outside the norm but it would be such a dream to be neighbor’s wit my hubby. YES!! Neighbor’s lol. That is prolly the gift n curse of living to self for so long tho-well til Mason came! No matter the case, I am setting and enforcing boundaries. 

The Art of Alone: Sit back n enjoy JUST YOU!! Get to know YOU. Fall in love with urself by urself becuz resting in that place of preparation n knowing ur worth will make a difference in who n what u attract in the long run. I ain't tryin to Iyanla Vanzant y'all bytchez but dmn y'all gotta start recognizing the power we got in deez streets when u require n demand ur worth. 

Smooches

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