This has been a looooong time comin. How long? Since 1999. Although college was stressed by my parents (mainly my dad), as a kid who ain't thinkin bout the value of it later in life, my attitude was like mmm meh...whatever. I guess its the "thing" to do right. As my friends ventured off to college, I ventured off into the workforce and did community college during the mornings. My mom even started to take classes and we joked about being in class together. Let me just say...as I remember, I used to say I can't wait to graduate high school thinking I'd be sleeping IN more-wroooooooong!! While adulting at an early age to juggle work, school n bills; my mom got sick n college was no longer priority. I think I did maaaybe a semester n let it fall by the wayside. Throughout my career(s) I'd always have sound advice from co-workers stressing the importance of higher learning. In the beginning, I wasn't eligible for grants and always heard the gripes of those paying car note sized loans for school which was the main deterrence I've always had-the burden of school loans!
After I had Mason, I started working at the fire dept and came across the tuition reimbursement program offered which meant I'd pay up front and they paid me back in the end IF I completed classes with a passing grade. I still pitty patty'd back n forth with it not taking full advantage of the moment because I felt like I'm making the salary, if not more than those WITH college degrees soooo what's the point. So again, I started n didn't finish. I did the back n forth for years to come and just thinking about what I could've been did n accomplished with higher learning-I still have no regrets. I'm not gonna sit here and wallow in the "by now I could have" or "I could've been" becuz I truly don't know where I would've been had I stayed in college or where I'd of been working. I am grateful for the opportunity to have met the people I've met along the way who have all served a purpose in molding me. Many I still have relationships with beyond the office. My steps have been ordered with or without college.
For 2019, let's be all the way live and HONEST...aside from the plethora of benefits and honoring of ancestors we can do utilizing higher learnings....it's not for everybody. I don't even think it's fair to force growing and under developed minds of younginz to make such drastic decisions of majors in what should be their future careers unless it's something they strongly show interest in (u know ur kids). I am all for leap years or pursuing college with a means that doesn't have to do with MY wallet or social attached to it. As parents, I get it, we want the best for them and don't want them to go through the same struggle. In today's times, there are many options besides a degree to advance in careers and life such as certifications and trades (unless u in a PhD-ish field). Everyone's definition of success is also different. I used to chase "the bag" so much until I paused to take a step back and really focus on Mason n changed the pace of my career. Ever since then, the bag been chasing me. My decisions here on out is making quality of life a priority. I am not looking to drive fancy cars to park in the driveway of a mansion wit a white picket fence. There's offers received with the opportunity to make a higher salary and I've said no because it's not a good fit for MY life right now whether it's becuz of a longer commute or location. All money ain't good money but I am blessed to be in the position to do so.
Although, I've digressed...let me wheel it back. I just recently within the past few years gotten serious about going back to school. Not for the sake of career advancement but my own personal growth and dedication to accomplish a personal goal. I wanted to FINALLY complete something. I also wanted to continue honoring my mama n finish what she didn't as well. It was merely unfinished business!! With the motivation of you guys and the inspirational stories of those before me, I DID IT!!! In the beginning, I ain't gonna lie....it was hard. No longer was I doing one class here and there but I took on 3 classes at a time. My job has been flexible and accommodating with school as they've been rooting for me as well. I struggle n HATE MAFF (no secret) so I used these scientists n engineers to assist me. Many of days we'd be in their offices going over formula's to figure out homework. I ain't never been so proud of a C in my life. Apparently, God needed to see me be consistent because I started getting blessed with grants in the end. It's because of those grants I was able to finish school n lessen my loans-wheeeeew FAVORED!!!
So here's the catch...after all that...my intentions was to celebrate quietly and to myself. I felt like since it's "only" an Associates n it took me so long, it's no big deal. This was a challenge for ME to accomplish and I downplayed it **slaps forehead** I even missed the deadline to walk n then said HOLD UP **cue lightbulb** umm...this shyt was NOT FREE!! I ain't get up in school wit no handouts via Crew Club n adjusted SAT scores. I've sacrificed many of nights (some last minute but still) working on papers n prepping notes for tests, all the while juggling mommyhood n work. I've attended classes throughout the week after work when I was drained n wanted to just go straight home to bed. I found the brain power to make this shyt happen **opens loan bill as reminder** AWWW HELL NAAAAH...
yall gonna see every bit of this milestone PHK THAT!!! Might not mean much to u, but it dmn sure means much to me. So here I am looking to get squeezed in the ceremony to walk. I get the green light (FAVORED) and it's go time. Mason was proud of me and I graced the stage with an extra light hovering over my cap. I am officially the first college grad (on my mama's side) to hold the title. I'm just in awe of myself and still letting it marinate to take it all in-I DID THAT!!
And becuz I got more free monies...Imma take advantage of that n do it again :) I told the advisor LOOK...I ain't looking to be a doctor, lawyer or anything of that nature. I will take a degree in toe nail clippings if need be n long as I don't need to take another phkn MAFF class :7
All of a sudden the tortoise n the hare race makes so much sense to me now. My heart is full...thank you ALL soooo much-the love and messages are definitely felt wit these extra hands pushin me to the finish line!!
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| Smooches (from my mama-the light-and me) |
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