Didja Miss Me

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Wow! Life really does come at u fast. I have abandoned my blog for quite some time now **looks at date from last post** HOLY CRAP!!! dmn near 5 weeks-EEEK!! I really appreciate the feedback n love from those who take time out to read my blog. I feel so loved :) My last post talkin bout my sleeve was liberating for me so I'm excited to move forward with the struggles iiiiiiiiii have even AFTER weight loss surgery. If your a parent I'm sure ur as excited I am to see kids BACK IN SCHOOL!!! Yaaaaaaaaay!!! Summer flew by and my only begotten son is now in the 3rd grade.


It's so crazy cuz I remember his 1st day in Pre-K **sniff** NO!! I'm not that parent who cries on the first day wit separation anxiety or emotional their no longer babies-oh naw!! I do have moments when I look back at pics n say dmn time waits on nothing. In another 9 years he'll be graduating high school n headed off to SOMEBODY college cuz he definitely gettin up outta here lol. 

I'm gonna be the mom to take a pic every year so I can hold the collage up during graduation lol.


One thing I've done with Mason since his very first day of school is start the tradition to get him a "back to school" gift on the 1st day. It's nothing big of course but just a lil something to rev the engine n motivate him for a good school year ahead. It's actually something he now looks forward to and he KNOWS to bring home good grades to keep the gifts coming. For now it's easy for me cuz he dnt want nothing much but a slurpee n xbox gift card but my sisters tease me all the time talkin bout when he gets in HS his gift will be cars-lmaooooo shyyyyyyyyyyt!!! 


Let's seeeee what else should I catch u guys up on....oh yea...I've been in the public safety world for a good 8 years. It's an interesting job to have and I honestly just fell into it and stuck with it becuz the money is pretty dmn good. It was just what I needed with a newborn and over the years it has afforded me vacations, helping loved ones and whatever our hearts desired. I went into the job with the attitude of "its a job" not knowing that I'd grow close to people who I would eventually call family. The fire dept is a close knit unit which I meeeean I guess u would have to be when u literally spend the majority of ur life (12-24 hr days) with em more than ur own family.  Nonetheless, I know ME. I can't fake nor hide how I feel. I've had many self-evaluaing moments to myself where I would go to work thinking "ok now what". Don't get me wrong, the joy in saving lives and entertaining old folks who just call up to talk are rewarding but I was not fulfilled in MY position. With the changes in management and a merge with police, I had my nuff BUT my job search was long n hard because I wasn't ready to take a pay cut. It was easy for me to have that cushion and security blanket of knowing I could take a few extra days of overtime to pay for an upcoming vacation or holiday season rollin around-I was on it!!! I've missed a many of family/friends moments, holiday's and quality time from Mason becuz of my greed to chase a dollar and/or shift schedule. What I had to come to realize IS....money dnt mean shyt when u aint happy! I was not happy yet I still went to work and did my job feeling unappreciated as I observed the difference in how I was treated vs someone less vested. I like to shop at Target, not be one mmmm k n got tired of being the 2Pac amongst the group. I worked with a great group of people where we laugh to keep from crying, motivate and uplift each other. I just knew for ME it was just time to move on elsewhere, just where I didn't know. 

Me as I did my FINAL night at work

It's funny how fast life comes at u and I enjoy the unknown. I had been job searchin for a long time and it wasn't until earlier this year I said I will consider a pay cut within reason. I started shopping with the attitude of 9 to 5 attire and even turned in my uniforms at the current job becuz I already determined to step out on faith and claim it to the heavens above that by Fall 2015 I would no longer be in my current position. I didn't know where I'd be workin, I just knew it wasn't gonna be public safety. It was just something I prayed on n felt in my heart of hearts becuz I wasn't happy. I could no longer be content with where I was becuz of the money. Mason will be 9 this year and he's playing sports and I want to be there. I needed a flexible job to do so. Making the transition to leave was bittersweet for me. I enjoy the luxuries of shopping during the week while everyone is at work, empty movie theatre's during matinees and being off while others work. The downside was working holidays n wknds when everyone is making cookout plans, girls night outs n facetime sessions with Mason cuz he misses me. It was just time for change. I like being challenged and learning new things. I knew I made the right decision for ME. When I gave Mason the exciting news of a new job where I'd be with him every night and no longer needed to be back n forth between his dad's house n mine he had the look of relief followed by a big azz smile. I love the flexibility to see his practices n games and picking him up from school to go home n cook while he's doin homework. I am there now-like all the time there!! To see my baby with the biggest smile becuz im there means the world to me. He recently said to me "mommy are u comin to my game becuz gramnea goes to all the Delaware State games and they win becuz she's good luck for the team so if u come to my games then we will win too" **cue aaaaaah's**




 Although I'm back to the real world on a "normal" schedule, I'm still a homebody. My Friday nights consists of falling asleep by 10p snuggled with this little fella and when he's happy, I'm happy. I am excited where I am now with learning new people, new possibilities and a new career. To anyone who goes to work feeling unfilled, uneasy and just not happy-it's up to you to get outta the rut and do you but be patient becuz it'll happen when it's meant to be and you'll just go with that gut feeling and intuition on what to choose from. I'm learning to adjust and realign becuz to someone else it might appear as a setback becuz we're in a world where it's all about the benjamins. The money loss is merely temporary for me becuz God is good all the time, and he will always make a way. I got plenty of testimonies where I've made $2 out of 15 cents honey...dnt get me started cuz I look back wondering How Sway? How? Then I realize it ain't nobody but the man above who looks out for his peoples. I AM COVERED yes indeed. After going through what I've gone through I've grown to learn one thing u can't put a price on is PEACE OF MIND!!!! (and playin dress up aint never hurt nobody **cue Kid n Play song**)

Shirt: Vince Camuto from Nordy Rack ($10), Skirt: JCPenny ($16), Shoes: Jessica Simpson from Nordy Rack ($30)

Smooches











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